Smooth Sailing ✓ [Republishing]

23 | almond and berry

Nothing lasts forever, nothing stays the same.

-Wherever You Are, 5SOS-
________________________

- L I L A -

Isaac, Yasmine and I sat on the hood of his truck, his head leaning on the windshield as he happily munched on his fries. I was eating sushi and began to feel nostalgic as I stabbed the roll with my fork.

Those times were the best.

I spotted Matthew sitting on a bench, his head in his arms as Toby slept in between his feet. My gaze was glued to him, and my fork slipped into my lap. After reluctantly tearing my eyes from him, I turned on my phone before seeing all the missed calls I received from him.

There was no doubt that I wanted to pick up the phone, but I couldn't allow him to know just how much he affected me. I was never much of a hopeless romantic, but it was evident Matthew turned me into one.

But, I was beginning to accept that we broke each other, and maybe it'd be better if we weren't together. On the other hand, I loved him, and the more time we spent apart; the more I fell for him.

Stupidly, my heart hammered against my chest whenever I saw him.

"Lila?" Yasmine spoke, her eyes following my gaze. "Are you okay?"

I nodded silently and slowly lifted my phone as it began to vibrate in my pocket. He was calling again.

Maybe I missed him a whole lot, but I couldn't stop myself from picking up, my phone sliding against my ear. "Hello?" I whispered aimlessly, my eyes glued to him as he sat up straighter in his seat.

"Lila," his voice audibly cracked, and I could hear the increase in his breath. "Thank God you picked up," he breathed softly. "I'm so sorry."

I remained quiet and gripped my phone tighter once I saw him run his occupied hand through his dishevelled dark hair. I had no intention of replying to him and sat there in silence as he continued to speak.

"I never meant for that to happen on your birthday, and I've literally been beating myself up over the fact that I forgot. I actually forgot your birthday."

I closed my eyes and inhaled sharply.

"I've been such a dick to you, and it was partly because I was hurt. I mean, I was hurt pretty bad." He paused for a moment and I heard a small whimper. "Lila, I wanted to tell you that-"

"Stop talking to me, Matthew," I repeated his words from the day before and swiftly ended the call. I saw his hand latch onto the hair at the nape of his neck, his forehead meeting the wood of the table.

From the distance, I could see the slight tremble in his broad shoulders, my heart slightly clenching at the sight. He had no problem doing that to me, and after his kiss with Gloria, I couldn't find it in myself to care anymore.

I lost him the first time around, but he had me in his hands and let me slip through his fingertips.

Yasmine frowned sadly and stared at me with dimmed brown eyes. "As much as I know you don't want to hear this but if you want to get closure, you have to speak to him."