The state of dreaming♡//Sequel to Teen idol

8.

Chapter eight.
Get the guts.

"I couldn't do it, I couldn't tell them" I sighed rubbing my temple as I sat on FaceTime to Zoe. She sighed outloud too and gave me a sympathetic look.

"Violet you have too some time soon, James deserves to know and have a proper relationship with his father"

"I feel so guilty for not just telling them when I found out I was pregnant"

"V, you know why you couldn't do that...you had to leave it was best for you at the time, dropping the bombshell of a child in that situation would've messed things up more" Zoe sympathetically said, James came running into my room seconds later.

"Baby I thought you were watching your DVD? What's wrong?" I asked getting up from my bed and picking him up.

"People are outside, they told me to come get you" he nodded out of breath, clearly running from downstairs to here. I placed him on the bed and he started chatting away to Zoe through the computer screen. I jogged downstairs to the front door opening it to see Dan. He was chewing on his bottom lip looking at the floor, he was nervous and I had no idea why.

"Why are you here?" I sighed leaning against the door frame, Dan smiled slightly finally looking up.

"I wanted to check if your okay, Phil went to film some collabs and I couldn't stand seeing you crying like that"

"Do you want to come in? I can make tea or something" I offered and he nodded walking past me. Dan walked into the Livingroom and looked around, it was a little messy from not having the motivation to clean but he didn't seem to mind.

"Just make yourself at home, I'll go start the tea and yeah...ignore the mess" I hurriedly said picking up some of James scattered toys from around the room. I went upstairs to see James had already managed to get a new DVD into my laptop and start watching it on my bed.

"Hey mommy, look monsters inc" he smiled, and I smiled sitting down for a second.

"Will you be okay here on your own whilst I talk to my friend downstairs?" I asked and he nodded getting under the covers. I knew he'd be asleep by the time I came back.

As I walked downstairs I suddenly felt sad, I don't know what it was or where it came from but I realised Kian probably wasn't coming back, and I would have to raise James without a father figure from here on out. I trailed into the kitchen and I could hear Dan playing a game on his phone from the Livingroom.

My hands started to shake as I set the kettle on and stared at the blank counter my eyes welling with tears for the second time today. I had known for awhile my anxiety had been building up but I pushed it aside pretending I was okay. As the kettle boiled I attempted to pour the tea with my shaking hands finding it was harder than it looked.

I jolted from my trance when the doorbell rang making me flinch slightly. It took me a second to process what was happening until I walked from the kitchen to the front door to show Kian standing with his bags in his hands.

"Baby, I'm sorry I overreacted about our argument" he said leaning in to kiss me but I moved back frowning.

"You...you can't come in" I said shaking my head remembering Dan sitting in my Livingroom. I heard fits of giggles coming from James who had obviously found his way out of bed and downstairs to Dan.

"Who's here?" Kian asked dropping his bags and pushing past me. I shut the door sighing, waiting for the arguments to start.

"Hey look daddy your home!" James squealed, I walked into the Livingroom to see James sat on dans lap playing on his iPad with him.

"Why the fuck is he in our house?" Kian snapped.

"Kian!" I hissed trying to pull him out of the room but he shoved me off knocking me into the wall. Dan suddenly picked up James and put him on the sofa.

"I think it's bests if you leave mate" he said standing infront of me protectively. Kian folded his arms and frowned before starting to talk.

"What? You two are playing happy family's again is that what this is?" He snapped.

"Kian you know it's not like that" I said quietly looking down.

"What the hell is it then Violet? Just because he's James biological father you can't just allow him to walk back into your life out of guilt! I'm James dad, I'm the one who was there at his first steps, his first words, god damn it I was here the day he first went to school!"

"Wait...James is mine?" Dan asked turning around. My mouth suddenly went dry and I felt like I was about to throw up from the sickness building in my stomach.

"I...I was going to tell you, I-I didn't know how, at the time it all happened so quickly, we broke up and Phil was in the hospital, I was confused! It was for the best!" I protested looking at James who was sat watching the whole scene unfold infront of him.

"Why wouldn't you tell me something like this Violet? That's not fair, I missed out on a child for christs sake" Dan frowned.

"Because you moved on! Your engaged to another woman, you didn't need me and a child just welcoming ourselves back into your life! Your career Dan, you had so much going on I couldn't just drop this on you"

"I-i need some time" Dan said looking down before walking out.