beside you :: cel {sequel to a+}

twelve | vegetables

I decided to go on a run the next morning, mostly to clear my head. I wanted to rid all the thoughts of Josh that were still lingering in my head.

I dressed in black workout leggings and a purple athletic shirt. I tied the laces of my black sneakers and was out the door.

I hardly ever went on runs, mostly because the crowded streets of New York made it awfully hard to go on a spontaneous run, but partly because whenever I went on runs, I thought. And when I thought, I thought about Josh and how much he broke my heart.

But it was early, and hardly anyone was on the streets of downtown Willow Falls.

I was having so much fun, I accidentally ran all the way down to the park.

And in the park, I saw Josh and Gloria.

It struck me as weird how they would be at a park so early in the morning, so I decided to hide behind a tree and listen in on their conversation.

"I don't get it," I heard Gloria sniffle. "What did I do? I thought you loved me."

"I do--I did," Josh sighed. "But it's not fair to either of us if I'm not fully committed to this relationship."

"Then what are you committed to," Gloria cried. "Because it's not me."

"It's not what you think, Gloria." Josh tired to reason.

"Then what is it? Because I see the way you look at her. I know you're still in love with her. I can se it in your eyes." I heard Gloria sniffle.

My heart quickened, nervous for Josh's response.

"I'm not in love with anyone."

"Bullshit!" Gloria wailed. "I'm not an idiot. I know you're not over her. And I know you were with her the night of the wedding."

Josh didn't respond for a while, making me want to whack him over the head for revealing what we did.

"I knew it. I knew you weren't over her." Gloria whispered.

"I don't wanna end things like this," Josh breathed. "Please, know it was all me and not Chloe. She didn't do any of it. I was the one who came onto her that night, because you're right. I still love her."

Gloria let out a sob, a wave of guilt pouring through my veins. I caused this. None of this would've happened if I had just stayed in New York. I should've stayed. Then Dustin and I could've eloped without anyone knowing.

"I understand," Gloria took a shaky breath. "But know that I still love you one hundred percent. And that if you realize that she isn't the one, I'm still here."

Josh sighed. "That won't be happening, but thank you. Despite what I may say, you are a great friend and I'm pretty goddamn lucky to have you in my life."

The two hugged, and I could tell my time behind that tree was limited, so I ran off, my mind buzzing.

But the only thing I could think about is Josh.

•

I regretted ever agreeing to this.

I once again stood in front of my full length mirror. My bangs were pinned behind my ears, which Nick said brought out my eyes. I wore a dark red sweater, parked with a black pencil skirt, and black tights.