build me up buttercup [s.black]

[37] Goodbyes

It's a strange thing, to be surrounded by hundreds of people but feel completely alone. That was how Aisling felt as she stood on platform nine and three quarters, waiting to board the Hogwarts Express for her final year at school; one hand gripping her trunk, which was heavier than usual, and the other picking at a loose thread on her cardigan.

Amber leaves which had inexplicably found their way onto the platform crunched beneath her boots as she looked around, all she could see was families. First years who buzzed with nervous energy as flustered parents tried to negotiate the bustling crowd. All the way up to bored looking seventh years; who, along with their mothers and fathers, now found the matter of catching the train quite tedious. She saw faces that she didn't recognise and faces that she did, but not the ones she was looking for.

Aisling had always been cripplingly embarrassed by her mother's hysterics when she left for school each year, but now she found herself pining for them. Anything had to be better than the horrible, empty feeling in the pit of her stomach. She buried her nose in the collar of the leather jacket which hung loosely off one of her shoulders. It still smelled ever so slightly of campfire smoke, tangy apple shampoo and cinnamon. Sirius.

Aisling suddenly felt the presence of someone behind her. She spun around, her long braid whipping around with her. Her hand instinctively reached for her wand which was tucked into the waistband of her jeans.

"Whoah, calm down." Laugh lines framed the grey eyes of the boy standing in front of her. "It's just me."

He was accompanied by James, who was wearing his hair even wilder than usual, and a had shiny gold badge pinned to his jacket which read head boy.

"Oh, hi." Aisling said, smiling at him and moving her right hand into her pocket instead of her waistband. "Sorry, itchy wand hand after this summer."

"It's fine." He replied, pulling her hand out of her pocket and slipping it into his. "You want to board? We only have about two min-"

He stopped suddenly.

"What?" Asked James and Aisling together.

Sirius looked warily around before nodding subtly over to a pillar a few metres away. Aisling followed his gaze and her eyes widened. Leaning against the pillar, clearly eager to stay as far away from the crowds as possible, were her parents. Dropping her trunk to the floor, she walked quickly over to them.

"Mam, Dad." She said, throwing her arms around them. "What are you doing here?"

"Did you honestly think we wouldn't come and see you off, sweet pea?" Shauna whispered into her ear. "For the last time."

Aisling felt warm liquid seeping through her cardigan and onto her shoulder. But she wasn't embarrassed by her mother's tears; to her horror, she felt them start falling from her own eyes too.

"I'm sorry." She said hoarsely. "I'm so sorry for being angry. I love you."

"We love you too Aisling." Her father said. "And we want you to know that if you really need to contact us, you'll still be able to. All you need to do is go to the headmaster."

The clock chimed eleven times, causing Aisling's heart to sink. She had never been more reluctant to board the train in her life. She straightened up, balling her hands into fists and aggressively wiping the tears from her face.

"I love you." She repeated, unable to say the word goodbye.

Her parents seemed to understand and nodded, telling her they loved her too. Aisling heard the whistle sounding and forced herself to walk away, squeezing her eyes shut to stop any more tears from escaping.

She sprinted the last few feet to the train and jumped aboard just as it started to move. The sudden movement took her by surprise and she lost her balance. Sticking her arms out in an attempt to grab onto something, she felt a pair of hands around her forearm. Steadying herself, she turned to thank whoever had caught her, only to come face to face with Sam Matthews.

"Thanks." She mumbled, untucking some loose strands of hair from behind her ears in an attempt to hide how red they had gone.

"No problem." He replied, smiling kindly. "Bit clumsy aren't you?"

"Little bit yeah."

Quiet laughter was shared between the two while Aisling tried to think of a polite way to say that she needed to go and find Sirius.

"So anyway, I should probably-" She trailed off, gesturing vaguely in the direction of her usual compartment.

"Yeah." Sam said, looking awkward.

"Good to see you."

"You too."

She sidled past him, thinking to herself that she had never been more grateful that a conversation was over. She was only a few steps down the corridor of the train however, when she heard someone shout her name. Praying that it wasn't Sam, she turned around hesitantly. She was instead greeted with the sight of Remus, leaning out of the cabin she had just walked past. He waved to her and gestured for her to come over.

When she entered the cabin, her eyes were met with a rather bizarre, if not slightly amusing, scene. Sirius, Peter and James were all sitting on one side of the compartment, looking very uncomfortable indeed. The image became less funny though, when Aisling saw what was making them so uneasy. Alice was sitting with her head buried in Lily's shoulder, sobbing while Lily stroked her hair.

"She just had to say goodbye to Frank." Remus whispered.

Aisling nodded in understanding and sat down in the space next to Sirius, nearest the window.

"Yeah." She said, in a voice so quiet that she could have just been talking to herself. "Saying goodbye can be really hard."

She watched the misty countryside race past as the train gathered speed, completely lost in her own thoughts. Until Sirius, the only person close enough to hear what she had said, intertwined his fingers with hers. She put her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes, letting out a long breath through her nose. Unable to think of a time when she had been less enthusiastic about returning to Hogwarts.