Senseless

exhaustion

It was around five o'clock on Sunday when I decided to go out and get some food. I hadn't eaten all day, but that was only because I'd been too lazy to go get food. Elena was with some friends and I was alone, so I went ahead and pulled on some pants to leave. I was wearing a huge T-shirt, leggings, and my hair in a really messy bun because I'd been wearing it all day.

I decided on some local breakfast place because I was randomly craving biscuits and gravy. As I pulled into a parking space, my phone began ringing. I looked to see Amber's name flashing across the top.

"Hello?"

"I'm at the gym."

I waited for her to elaborate, but she didn't. "Congratulations," I said in confusion.

"Well, do you want to come?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm doing weights and you know I hate doing those alone because I look lonely."

"You can pick up some guys if you're alone," I pointed out.

"Ethan would kill me," she snapped. "And I don't want to," she added as an afterthought.

I let out a breath. "My arms still hurt. I was fighting all week with Nash."

"He hit you?" she gasped.

"No, I mean, like, boxing. I don't really know if it is boxing. I'm just going to call it that, I suppose," I explained. "But I'm eating right now."

"Oh."

"I'll call you later," I said as I followed a waiter to my seat. "Bye."

She hung up and I smiled as a girl with blonde hair piled into a bun walked up. "Would you like drinks?"

"Water, please," I said, giving the menu a onceover. "I think I already know what I want. Biscuits and gravy, please." I smiled politely and she jotted it down on her notepad. I began scrolling through Instagram. I used to hate coming to restaurants alone because it made me look like a loser, but I realized it actually didn't and stopped caring. Amber still had that anxiety and refused to dine in if she was alone. She'd always call me or Ethan, or one of her other friends.

While I was friends with most everyone—acquainted would be a better word, but whatever—Amber was really the only person I actually trusted as a real friend. It still amazed me that my huge friend group from freshman year was now down to one person. All the people that used to be friends with me became absorbed in being the "it" girls. I just wanted to be me, but I quickly realized they were using me to reach that goal and I wasn't happy about it.

People thought that I considered myself "better" and I knew that, but I also knew that it wasn't the truth. It was just the stereotypes that people went by, and because I was confident, people thought I was stuck up.

I hated that so much, because people drilled it into our heads to be confident; the moment we were confident, it was just considered conceited. My food came quickly, because the place was practically empty, and I began working on the meal. It was so delicious, and they'd given me about six biscuits. I had faith in myself and knew I could eat them all.

I heard the door open after about ten minutes and paused to take a drink of water. Suddenly, Nash appeared in front of me. His back was to me as he followed the waiter and I knew he hadn't seen me. My head dipped so I couldn't be seen and I freed my wild curls to shield my face from his view. I didn't know why I didn't want him to see me.

As I continued to eat, I suddenly felt a pair of eyes on me and refrained from looking up. Why did his gaze give me chills like that? Why did I suddenly feel thrilled, a feeling Lane never excited and Jagger never would. Unable to stop myself, I found my eyes moving up to see his shockingly steely eyes boring into me. A small smirk played across his lips and his eyes moved from me for a moment. I looked over as a girl walked in and spotted him, quickly smiling and walking over.