Chasing Butterflies

Breathe

All Izzy knew was that the room was dark. Either that or her eyes were closed. The numb fingers of her right hand twitched. Shag carpeting tickled the palm of her hand and her fingertips. With a low groan Izzy pried her eyes open.

The sun pierced her eyes and she groaned again, slamming her eyelids shut. Her head flopped over until her cheek pressed into the floor. With a deep inhale, Izzy realized that even the outdated shag carpeting in this crappy apartment smelled of smoke. Her nose wrinkled at the stench and she immediately pulled her face out of the carpet.

"What time is it?" She mumbled to herself.

"It's eight thirty, Sweet Cheeks." Izzy's eyes shot open at the sound of a man's voice somewhere in the apartment. She thought she was alone but apparently not.

"What's the day?" As long as this voice was giving answers, she might as well ask questions.

Last night was a complete blur. Her mind was nothing but a haze of fragmented memories. She could vaguely recall a pile of pills on the coffee table, in all different shapes and colors. Izzy had no idea what most of them were but that didn't stop her from swallowing half the pile dry.

"It's Wednesday, Sweet Cheeks," the voice sounded closer now. "And I'm pretty sure you've got work today, isn't that right?" Izzy's eyes snapped open.

"Oh my god." Izzy shot up like a bolt. Her spine screamed in protest and her limbs felt like they were hanging from her torso by a string. "Damn it!" Her voice sounded like she had swallowed a pound of sandpaper. "No no no," she rolled over to her side and pushed herself up, stumbling as she ran to the bathroom.

Izzy tugged on the bathroom door handle. Nothing. The door was locked. Her hazy ears barely made out the sound of the shower running. "Ugh damn it!" Izzy slammed a fist into the door and ran back to the front door, ignoring the desperate need for a shower. Bending over, she frantically began to tie the laces on her boots. She had to be at the cafe in thirty minutes and her numb fingers couldn't tie the damn laces without screwing up. Izzy groaned in frustration as she tried and failed for the fourth time to tie her boots.

"Need some help there Sweet Cheeks?" A sudden smack to her ass had Izzy spinning around to face the voice that had woken her up.

"What the hell are you doing Jae?" She pushed away his hand that was still hovering near her butt.

"Oh come on, don't pretend like you don't like it." Jae moved a step closer to her, backing Izzy against the door.

"What's wrong with you? What are you doing?" Izzy tried to flatten herself as much as she could against the wooden door but he still kept moving closer.

"Oh you weren't complaining last night when Cassie was asleep," the filthy smirk on his face made her stomach turn over.

What the hell had she done last night? How high did she get? There was no way in hell that she would have done something with him, no matter how high she was. Right?

Her numb hand slid flat against the wood of the door. Her pinky finger hit something cold and smooth. The door handle. She gulped past the lump in her throat as Jae creeped even closer. A shaky hand wrapped around the knob and threw the door open.

Izzy ran as fast as she could from the apartment, stumbling over her untied laces. "Come back soon Sweet Cheeks!" His croaky voice called down the hallway as she ran on numb feet. Of all the ways to wake up after a high, that has got to be the worst.

Izzy ran down the stairwell and slammed past the building door, not stopping even once. Everything in her vision looked like it was evaporating and the world kept spinning on its axis. Seeing, hearing, and thinking straight were not an option for her at the moment. But she just kept running.

A few times she stumbled.

She thought she could feel cautions hands on her elbow, helping her stand, but she couldn't be sure. She thought she heard the shouts of people who she ran into, but her ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton. She thought she saw the cement sidewalk racing towards her face, but she was still upright and running.

Izzy burst through the glass door. The horseshoe above it nearly fell to the ground. A sea of faces stared at her in shock. The cafe was full. Izzy barely registered the murmurs floating through the room. Her ears heard nothing but frantic breathing.

Only after a minute did Izzy realize that these gasping breaths were coming her own mouth.

"Izzy." She heard a woman's voice. "Izzy are you alright?" A gentle hand was placed on her back. "Good god, your heart is pounding like a jackrabbit!"

Izzy clawed at the fabric of her shirt. Her mouth was open and emitting wheezing sounds but there was no air finding its way to her lungs. Black spots danced across her vision.

"Let's get you out of here. Come on," Izzy barely felt the person who was now dragging her through the room and into the kitchen.

Her clammy fingers slipped off the torso of the woman carrying her and Izzy collapsed on the white floor tiles. Her knees pressed to her chest as she tried desperately to get air into her burning lungs. The searing pain in her arm barely registered past her wheezing. But still, Izzy knew that her fingertips were covered in blood from ripping at the crook of her elbow.

"Izzy what's wrong?" The woman's voice floated around her, full of concern. "I've seen a lot of things, but even I don't know what to do right now. Is there somebody I should call?" More and more frantic questions flew from Mrs. Lee's mouth. Izzys ears stopped listening to the woman who was rambling a mile a minute. Her brain couldn't focus on anything but breathing. In and out. In and out.

Izzy felt a tugging at her jeans pocket but ignored it. Just breathe. That's all she could do right now.

"What happened? Where is she?" She wasn't sure how much later it was when she heard a man's voice in the room. But the cramps in her legs and arms told her it must have been a while.

"Izzy!" The sudden shout made her flinch and she curled further into herself.

A warm hand found her shoulder and rubbed gentle circles on her back. "Oh Izzy. What happened to you," the familiar whisper made her muscles relax at the sound of it. She knew this man. She just couldn't remember the name right now. Her mind strained to think of the name or the face but she just couldn't. A quiet whimper escaped from her mouth as a bolt of pain shot through her head.

The hand on her back kept a steady rhythm, tracing warm circles through her thin shirt. Voices floated all around her. Her ears picked up a quiet conversation somewhere in the room.

"What happened?" A man's voice echoed across the tiles.

"I don't know. She ran into work fifteen minutes late and she was breathing very hard. It looked like she was about to faint so I brought her in here but she collapsed and I haven't been able to get her up. She's been like that for an hour now." An hour. She's been wheezing on the floor for an hour? Her mind was spinning. "I didn't know what to do so I grabbed her phone and called the first number I saw. Thank you for coming so quickly," Mrs. Lee finally finished her long winded rant and breathed a sigh of relief.

And all the while, the warm hand on Izzy's back never stopped tracing gentle circles.

"Thank you Mrs. Lee. We're going to take her home if that's okay," the way he spoke, it didn't sound like the request was negotiable.

"Of course. Of course. Just make sure that she's okay. She's been working so hard here, I hope I didn't exhaust her," hearing the quiver in the woman's voice Izzy knew that she was crying.

During the two weeks she had worked for Mrs. Lee, Izzy learned that this woman was perhaps the toughest person she'd ever met. And Izzy cursed herself for being the one to bring this woman to tears.

"Come on Izzy, let's go home." Her body was lifted from the white tiles, making her spine scream in protest.

Izzy desperately grabbed at the air in hopes of making the pain stop shooting through her body. There wasn't any such luck. Instead, her flailing hand caught on fabric and Izzy clung to it like her life depended on it. She didn't know why, but as she clung to that one fistful of fabric Izzy could finally breathe.