Clopwyck River - revised version

Chapter One

Hey lovely reader and thanks for reading this version of Clopwyck River. A literary agent asked me to re-write CR using the same characters but stripping back the paranormal stuff, and this was the result. The agent still didn't go for it, maybe because I didn't remove the paranormal elements entirely....Some of it will seem really familiar if you've read the original CR and I hope you like what I've done, although the original will always be my number one. This one's a standalone and I'll be posting it every Sunday.

She screams my name, terror strangling her words so I can't hear her over the crackling of the flames. I don't need to hear her fear, because I can see it in her eyes. My fingers brush against hers through the window, her fingertips slick with sweat and panic. The heat intensifies and a whooshing sound fills my ears. I scream out as arms close around my waist, pulling me backwards, pulling me away from her.

My body jerks as I wake up. My forehead's numb from where I've been leaning against the passenger side window, and my back aches from sitting at an awkward angle. I shift in my seat, and realising that I'm not asleep anymore, Jackie, my old neighbour, glances at me.

"I really think this is for the best, Demi."

I sigh. Isn't that what all adults say when they're making you do something you don't want to do?

I look ahead and rub my neck. "It's fine."

"It's not fair on you to be stuck with me. You should be with family. My boys are much younger than you, I don't want them-" She catches herself before she says what she really thinks. "You need to be with people who love you, people that know you, people that-"

"Daria doesn't know me."

"Of course she does! She's your sister."

"That doesn't mean she knows me."

Jackie purses her lips and exhales through her nose. "I know you're not happy about this, but there isn't another option. I really think it's for the best." She nods as she repeats the words, convincing herself that palming me off is the right thing to do.

"I said it's fine."

It's not fine. I'd rather stay at Jackie's with her annoying twin sons blaring their PS4 through the wall, than live with my sister in Clopwyck River. But Jackie has been waiting for this day since she agreed that I could stay with her 'for the short term' after Mum died, so I knew I wouldn't be there for long. Nobody has come out and said it, including Jackie, but I know they blame me for Mum's death. I mirror their thoughts when I lie in bed, waiting for sleep to bring me a fraction of peace that I know I don't deserve.

A road sign hurls my thoughts back in my face and officially welcomes me to Clopwyck River. Dense trees shadow the car, shielding us from the rain as we glide into a leafy tunnel. I look through the window and tree trunks speed past my eyes, hypnotising me into almost forgetting where I am, their spell breaking suddenly as we emerge from our passage. My eyes adjust to the grim daylight, and my senses take stock of my new surroundings, filing the images, smells, and sounds away for my reluctant future here in Clopwyck River.

I look out at the dull evening and exhale until I have no air left; the weather is as depressing as my life. As is the norm in England at this time of year, it's chucking it down. Grey clouds tumble and swirl against each other like the thoughts in my head, and the wind forces its will on the tree branches. Entranced by the weather, my Mum materialises in my mind's eye as I remember how wild her hair would get if she got caught in the rain. Those dark shadows of despair wash across my soul and I squeeze my eyes shut before the loss of her rises up to engulf me.

"This place is completely off the radar."

I open my eyes and see Jackie frowning between the road and the sat nav, jabbing the buttons on the screen.