How I Met Your Father (Sanji x Zolo)

Mood Swings

"Father's moods really could change at the drop of a hat, couldn't they?"

"Yep. Sometimes literally."

"Unlike me, I was fine."

"All you did was eat and sleep, you fat pig."

"I was pregnant, not fat, and I was eating for more than one person, so there."

Sanji stood with his arms crossed, pouting. "What's wrong, baby?" Zolo said, coming closer to wrap his arms around his pregnant lover. Sanji pushed Zolo away.

"No! Go away! You did this to me!"

"Well, you didn't exactly fight me off."

"Go awaaayyy!"

Zolo sighed and started to walk away, but he'd taken no more than three steps when the sound of Sanji's whimpers made him turn around. The blond was reaching toward Zolo, tears streaming down his cheeks. Zolo sighed and walked back to him, holding the cook close and petting his hair. "There, there... It's okay..."

"I'm saaaaddd!"

"Why you sad, honey."

"I don't know..."

"Oh baby."

-meanwhile-

"I'm hungry."

Usopp sighed. "Bro, you're always hungry."

"Feed me."

"No, you've had enough."

"Fooooood."

Usopp sighed again, pushing himself to his feet and going to the kitchen. He had to beat off Luffy, but he managed to bring back some food. "Here you go, fam."

Shinji ate it all and was whining again in about five minutes.

"Fam. You can't eat everything."

"Why not?"

"Because, your dad's pregnant, he'll need food too."

"Fine, I'll just eat him."

"No, Shinji."

Shinji pouted and shifted, wrapping his arms around his massive gut. He really was huge. Bigger than he should be. Usopp poked Shinji's tum and said, "You sure this is natural?"

"Not entirely, but I'm relatively certain that it isn't anything harming."

"In English please."

"It not a bad."

"Oh, okay."

"I love my bro, but sometimes I think he's stupid."

"Usopp is stupid."

"Shut up, Dad, you're not allowed to say that."

"Whatever..."

Sanji was laying on the couch crying into a pillow. Shinji was tucked up near the arm of the chair, wary of his father's sudden mood swings. Zolo gently rubbed the back of Sanji's head. "Hey..."

Sanji grabbed a pillow and repeatedly slammed it into the side of Zolo's head. "You stupid worthless Marimo!"

Zolo flinched, but otherwise took the abuse. "Okay, Sanji."

Sanji then wrapped his arms around Zolo's neck and sobbed onto his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I love you."

"Okay, Sanji."

Sanji threw the pillow at the wall and screamed, "Go away! Everyone just go away!"

"Okay, Sanji."

"Nuuuu, come baaaack!"

"Okay, Sanji."

Ten minutes later, Sanji was slumped against Zolo, fast asleep. "Thank God..." Zolo muttered. He looked toward Shinji, who was, somehow, fatter than before. "Umm... Son?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you supposed to be that fat?"

Shinji sighed. "Why does everyone feel the need to ask that?"

"Maybe because you're huge."

"I'm pregnant."

"Sanji never got that big."

Shinji just shrugged and went back to the book he'd been reading.

Zolo felt something wet on his shirt, and looked down to see Sanji, awake now, silently crying onto his shirt. 'Here we go again...' He thought.