Hello, Mr. Sanity | Chanbaek

Chapter 18

I grumbled as I sat in the corner of my room, body shaking as looked down towards my arm. The feeling of wanting absolute pain was inevitable, I knew it would happen sooner or later. There was just a matter of time until I found it. And it was this time.

My finger reached under the bed again And poked the staple that was stuck out. A small grin formed onto my lips as I dragged my bare arm under next.

"This is for all the wrongs I've done.." I whispered, arm coming in contact with the staple.

I winced lightly while dragging its point end against my flesh, but I only grinned more. This was the kind of rush I needed, this was the relief I needed to survive this place. This is what I needed.

I hummed and began to move the point across my skin more, adding pressure as I made sure it dug in, drawing out blood.

"This is for Sehun always having to take care of me.." I murmured.

I drug it in deeper, biting onto my lip. The sensation sent tingles through my veins, sparks of light into my eyes. I felt alive. I felt finally that I wasn't such a worthless monster.

"Finally, this is for Baekhyun, who doesn't like me because I'm a monster." I choked on my words, tears springing towards my eyes.

"Monsters don't cry, Chanyeol, so stop it." I continued to choked, my arm moving back and coming towards my body. I cradled my arm closer and whimpered.

"Stop crying already." But I didn't stop. I didn't at all.

The tear flow just kept coming and coming, sending my voice into hiccuped as I sobbed. My chest squeezed together in a tight pain as I thought of the male. My stomach clenched and had flurries all over. I need to get rid of it all. I don't want this pain anymore. It's not a very good pain. It hurts more than anything else.

My eyes shut, the water filling them up. My body curled closer in a ball as I shook back and forth.

"I want this pain to stop. Monsters shouldn't feel pain." I spoke.

My bottom lip quivered and shook, my teeth moving to grab ahold of the flesh that shook in fear. It cowered, knowing it was its fault. It was my fault. Everything that happens is my fault.

I'm just a monster that people lie to. I'm just a monster that needs to stay locked up forever. I'm just a monster who everyone hates no matter what.

I'm the monster that people fear about in their nightmares. I'm the monster that people think about when they're walking all alone at night. I'm the monster that parents warn their kids about.

I'm the monster that everyone fears.

I shook my head and looked down at my arm. My fingers moved to the cuts, touching the warm ooze that made its way out. This is why I'm the monster.

Everyone fears me.

Sehun.

Mom.

Dad.

Baekhyun..