Six Feet Under the Stars [5SOS]

3

[A/N: I know I haven't been updating much, and I'm sorry. The updates will be more frequent, chapters will become longer, the story will be more interesting and well written. Promise.]

SUCIDE TRIGGER WARNING.

Luke's p.o.v.
I decided that laying down for a nap was the best way to clear my head. I tried not to drink much and I don't smoke, so this was my main option. The only bad part about trying to get to sleep is that it's quiet. When it's quiet, bad thoughts come.
Don't think about it, Luke. I thought to myself. Just don't think about it and you'll be fine.
The covers of my bed were warm, too warm for a hoodie and jeans. I got out of bed, took my hoodie and jeans off, leaving me in my t-shirt and boxers.
"Good enough." I mumbled to myself, getting back into bed.
Should I turn the TV on? Would that make it easier not to think about? I wondered.
No, if I turn the TV on I'll never sleep, and I'm really tired.
"No TV it is." I whispered, pulling the covers back up.
I grabbed a throw blanket of mine and bunched in up under the covers, trying to make it comfortable. 
I cuddled the blanket.
It sounds sad, but this kept me from getting too lonely. I know I could always call for Michael, but he doesn't need to deal with me all the time, he deserves a break.
After about fifteen minutes, I drifted off.

I looked at myself in the mirror of the bathroom I shared with my brothers. This would be the last time I ever saw myself.
"You're ready for this, Luke." I told myself, "This is going to end your pain. And they'll all be sorry."
I pulled my shirt off, leaving me in just my swim trunks. I stepped into the bathtub, now filled with water, and turned off the faucet.
I'd read up about drowning, what your body goes through, how it feels, how fast it takes to kill you, even the best techniques.
I would've weighed myself down and jumped in the pool, but someone would find me and stop me if I did that.
I told everyone I was taking a shower so they'd get worried after a while and come to check on me. The door was unlocked, so they could get in fast enough.
Even if they were fast, I'd still be long gone by then.
I started to sink down, lifting my legs up out of the water a bit, and holding my head under.
I soon began to feel the need to come up for air but stayed down.
I started to feel dizzy, it almost felt like I was breathing but I knew I wasn't. Everything was slowly going black.
That's when I was pulled from the water.
"Oh my god, Luke!" Celeste, Jack's girlfriend, nearly shouted as she pulled me up.
I could feel myself breathing for real this time, my vision was back.
"What the hell are you doing?" She asked, pulling me completely out of the tub and wrapping me in a towel.
"Dying, until you ruined it." I grumbled.
"You were trying to drown yourself? Oh Luke.." she ran her hand through my wet hair. The both of us sat on the floor, I was still soaking wet, she was starting to get wet from the water coming off of me.
"Why?" She whispered.
"Why does anyone want to die? Tired of fighting." I mumbled.
"I don't know what you're going through right now, but this isn't the answer. You need to get help."
"No. You can't tell anyone, not even Jack."
"Luke you could hurt yourself."
"Please," I begged, "I promise I won't, just don't tell anyone."
"Fine.." she sighed, "Go get some dry clothes on."
I got up from the floor and headed to my room.
"Luke." she called.
"Yeah?" I asked, turning around to see her standing in the doorway of the bathroom.
"Please be careful."
"I promise, Celeste."

I'm not sure how long I was asleep for, but it was dark when I opened my eyes.
I could hear Michael faintly talking, most likely on the phone.
"I just don't know how to help him, Cal." I heard him say.
I stepped out of my room and gently walked down the hallway, trying to hear him better.
"He had a pretty bad nightmare last night, sometimes he zones out and has flashbacks. I can't imagine what he must be going through right now"
It was quiet on his end for a second.
"If we sue Modest then everyone will know, and I know he doesn't want that. And what would suing do? All he'd end up with is compensation money and that wouldn't help him any."
I tried to make out what Calum was saying, but he was speaking just as low as Mike.
"We left Modest, that's all we could do. I think he's just scared that she's still out there. He thinks she'll come back and try to hurt him again."

"I don't know Cal, I gotta go I'll call you tomorrow." He listened to the reply, and hung up.
I walked into the living room, realizing that I was only in my shirt and underwear. I became self conscious the second Michael looked at me. I wanted to run to my room cover up, but then my shame would be obvious. I didn't want Michael thinking I was shameful of my body, even if I was.
I sat on the couch next to him.
"You were asleep for almost six hours." He told me, propping his feet up on the coffee table. His mother would've yelled at him for it. But this was our apartment and Michael's mother was halfway across the world.
"I still feel tired." I groaned, stretching out. I put my feet in Michael's lap and my head on a throw pillow near the arm of the couch. I chewed on the spot where my lip ring used to be.
Michael threw a blanket over me, "You look cold."
"Thanks," I mumbled, "Are you hungry or is it just me?"
"No, I'm hungry too. How about I order a pizza?" He questioned.
"Yeah that sounds good." I pulled the blanket up to my chin.
Even with everything going on, I knew that I was going to be okay.