Babies Need Babysitters

Chapter 18

"Sit down, I'll get the wine." She smiled, walking me into her livingroom. "Do you have a death wish? If Harry finds out he'll kill you." I sat down on her white couch and watched her as she went to the wine rack in the corner of the room, "He's not here, so screw him. Now white or red?" I sighed and shook my head, "Red." She took the bottle and got two glasses from on top of the wine rack, before joining me on the couch, "So, what's going on between you and Harry? Why the hell did he kiss you?" She filled both glasses to the very top , handing mine to me. I crossed my legs under myself and turned my body to my left to face her as she tucked one leg under herself. "We've just been... getting closer?"

"Closer, like might be calling him your boyfriend soon?" I took a sip of my wine, swallowing the bitter liqued thickly. "I don't want a relationship. I just... we're." I paused, not really sure of what to say. "We're... I don't really know what we're doing." I frowned. "Are you guys sleeping together?"

"Oh god, no." I chuckled, shaking my head. "So you're just kissing then?" She spoke slowly, unsurly. "Not exactly." I bit my lower lip, refusing to look up at her, but when I did, she was looking at the wall a frown covering her forehead. "So you're not having sex, but you're doing more than kissi- oh my god." Her eyes found mine, wide with a hint of humour as a loud laugh left her lips. "Oh my god. I would so be having the whole 'watch your back, he's Harry talk' but luckily this is just a fling, and you know it." She laughed. I frowned, not really getting what she meant. "What?"

"Well you know, he's Harry, you and I both know he's only being nice to you for the fun he gets out of it. Now normally girls would be all like "he's doing it cause he loves me." But you, you know he would be a total ass to you if you weren't busy... giving him orgasms. You're one of the smart few who knows that you mean nothing to him." She shook her head, that little smile still on her face as she took a sip from her glass. I never really thought about it. I just saw it as two people getting along for once and just having fun. I guess I knew that it didn't mean anything to him, but I didn't think he was only nice to me to get stuff from me.

I looked down at my half full glass, feeling this heavy, almost sore, feeling in my chest. The afternoon flashed back in my head, how he told me that this was definitly not a relationship and how he grabed my hand as soon as he saw Zayn, the kiss he gave me before I left the car.

This was quite relationshippy for something that wasn't a relationship. "But what if I do actually mean something to him? What if he loves me?" She snorted, almost chocking on her wine as she looked at me. "Awh no, Emily. Love and Harry do not belong in the same sentence. The only person he loves and ever will love, is himself."

My face dropped, my eyebrows forming a sad frown. Eleanor noticed, placing a hand on my knee. "Ems, do you... are you in love with Harry?" She leaned forward, looking at my face, which was dropped to the floor. "He's seriously just a fling." I muttered, running my fingers through my hair. "Just a fling? No that's what you are to him. He's Harry, he doesn't do relationships." She laughed sarcastically, leaning forward to pour more wine into both our glasses. "I don't care wether I'm a fling or not. He's a fling.... I'm a fling. Whatever, you know." I had chosen not to tell her that I've met Zayn before, or that Harry went out of his way just to make sure Zayn saw us together.

"Eleanor? Emily?" Eleanor's eyes grew wide as we heared the front door being pushed open. "Fuck, Harry's here, gulp the wine!" She shouted in a hushed tone. I got my wine from the table, and drank my fulll glass as fast as I could. "Are you guys home?" Harry yelled from her doorway. "In the living room!" El responded, after I placed my glass behind the couch. Harry walked into the room, eyes set on me as he smiled widely. "Ems, I told my mum I had to leave. Do you forgive me now? I came early for you, cause I felt bad." I raised an eyebrow at him and turned to Eleanor, giving her a hug. "I'll see you soon." I smiled. Her eyes dragged towads Harry, then back to me as she swallowed thickly.

"Yeah, soon." Her eyes lingered on Harry. From the corner of my eyes I could see him nodding slightly at her.

She stood up, having me follow in her footsteps, a frown plastered on my face. I followed her towards Harry, letting her give him a hug, before she stepped away.

Their eyes stayed in contact as he slipped his arm over my shoulder and hugged me to his side. "Let's go home baby." He kissed my temple, Eleanor's head falling to face the floor as she walked in front of us towards the front door. She was fine the whole day, but now that Harry was here she was acting off. It was strange, but I chose to ignore it.

"I'll see you at Lou's party." Harry winked as he turned to her, once we stepped out her front door. "Yeah." Once her door was shut, I shook Harry's arm from my shoulder and walked to his car by myself. I got in and shut my door, seeing him roll his eyes as he walked around the car and got into the driver's seat. "How was your afternoon with El?"

"I want to go home, can you just drive?"

.

"Come to me." Harry said softly, holding his arms open for me. I looked at him, not bothering to take a step forward and throw my arms around his neck. "I'm going to my room." I mumbled, turning around to walk up the stairs. Harry's hand on my shoulder stopped me from leaving, spinning me around to look up at him. "You can't seriously be mad at me for helping my mum, baby."

"Stop calling me that, we're not a couple remember, this is just a fling."

I wasn't sure why I was actually in a bad mood, I just was. Of course I wasn't mad about him ditching me for his mother, well at least not anymore. Maybe it was the whole fling thing, I didn't want to be a fling to anyone, especially not to Harry.

"That's why you're upset? Emily, if a relationship is what you want, I can give it to you." He stepped forward reaching for my hand, which I pulled away. "I don't want a relationship, I just want to know that I'm not a toy, that this is not just us fooling around."

"How do you expect me to do that if you don't want a relationship? What do you want me to do? I don't know what to do!" He raised his voice, making me turn in my footsteps and head for the stairs. "Stop walking away and tell me what the fuck you want, Emily!" He was hot on my heels as I used the back of my hand to dry the tears which were flowing down my cheeks. When I reached the stairs I started taking two steps at a time, but from how close he was, it was asif he was taking three. "I just want you to leave me alone!" I shouted, reaching the top of the stairs. He grabbed ahold of my wrist and spun me around, "You're unhappy and I don't like it. Now tell me what I should do to make you happy. What do you expect me to do to prove that you're not a toy to me. Bloody hell, just tell me!"

"Tell me you love me."

"What?" His hard expression was replaced with shock as soon as the words left my mouth. "Tell me you love me."

"Emily, you can't - you can't just expect me to tell you - why? Why would you want me to say that?" He pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb, leaning his elbow on the wall next to him. "I want to know that this isn't fake. That you're not just being nice to me to get me to do what happened on the couch or in the bath."

"But I can't just say that!"

"Why? Why can't you say it?"

"Cause I don't love you!"