Piece by Piece

5. Unforgettable Hurt

picture of Jack their dad

It's Sunday morning it's around 9 and I smell pancakes and sausage I got out of bed and went downstairs expecting to see Molly instead it's Jamieson Sterling pancake mix and flipping sausage this was a very impressive sight not only did he easily move from one thing to another but he looked very good doing it oh God that's my step-brother I can't think things like that he hasn't turn around so he doesn't know that I'm here I cleared my throat to get his attention he jumped and turned around oh you're up food's almost done go wake up Todd I just stood there I don't know who he's talking about he must mean Toby not Todd before I could do anything he spoke again hello mute I'm talking to you go get your brother Todd Foods gonna get cold with out any hesitation or reply I left and went upstairs Toby wake up wake up we're having pancakes I got him up and we went to brush our teeth and wash our face hey rob Jamieson is downstairs cooking I want you to introduce yourself to him make sure you tell him your name okay emm sure we go downstairs to the kitchen there are three plates on the table and Jamieson is adding eggs to them good morning Jamie I'm Toby your brother Toby said with a big genuine on his face Toby huh was the only response from Jamieson as we took our seats he grabbed his plate and walked off oh it's cool to call me Jamie since I messed up your name to and kid I always wanted a little brother not sure about a sister but whatever come upstairs when you finish breakfast we can play video games for a while

okay and trust me having emm for a sister isn't all bad
hahahaha we'll see and with that he was off Toby and I ate in peace my mind is racing with thoughts of the event to come in a week I just have this feeling things are not going to go well
emm stop worrying Toby said pulling me from my thoughts what are you talking about I asked
you have that look on your face
what look
that serious you look you get when you're stressed out about something
I don't have a look go play with Jamieson yeah you do and only if you promise to stop worrying
you know for a twelve-year-old you're very....
perceptive smart yeah I know
I was going to say annoyingly observent sure emm Toby said as he left to go hang out with Jamieson I cleaned off the table and washed the dishes now I'm bored guess it's a good time to write in my journal I know I'm too old to have a journal but I started writing when my mom got sick everyday after school I would take Toby to visit her while I went to work or to the library before I left them I would give her my journal so she can read about my day since I wasn't there to tell her I got my journal from my suitcase and begin to write
Dear Mom (even though I don't physically give  it to her  anymore I still write it for her)
So Tony and I are in South Dakota now we met Molly and Jamieson dad is on some kind of business trip so I have a week to panic about that anyway Molly seems kind of rude in a stuck-up rich kid type of I guess she's entitled to considering they are very well off and Jamieson I don't know about him Toby took a fast liking to him which I guess is a good thing since he has a great judge of character but there's something about Jamieson he's frightening but there's more to him I can tell if I was a different kind of girl maybe I would be brave enough to figure him out but I'm not love to your emm Jamieson I didn't think I had that much to write about him but I could never keep anything from my mom even now I find that to be true oh I miss you I cry out Mama I wish you would have fought for your kids I'm a complete crying mess now I need to clean myself up I make my way to the bathroom but when I open the door I bump into Jamieson
Emily Toby could hear you crying I told him I would check to see if your okay
fine I said and tried to step around him he stopped me and said no you're not I broke down into tears immediately he wrapped his arms around me in a hug and then led me into the bathroom what are you doing
You need to be cleaned up and I don't want Toby to hear you cry I just nodded my head he picked me up and set me on the counter and got a washcloth for my face ay Emily I want to apologize for the way I talked to you last night I was kind of pissed but I shouldn't have taken it out on you
it's ok
good so you aren't mute  he questioned me with a smirk on his face
no I'm perfectly capable of talking just not to strangers especially rude ones

5 days later...
today is Friday and the last few days have been quiet uneventful Molly hasn't spent much time with us let alone even home she's been hanging out with the girls she says Jamieson and Toby they have been getting along just fine they have been playing video games and watching TV together real brother but Jamieson and I havent been in close quarters since my breakdown Sunday I've caught him staring at me a few times in a weird way I don't know how to explain it it's different I guess I wrote about it in my journal his looks gives me this feeling like he can see into my soul I need to stop thinking about him altogether if I really want things to work out with my father now is not the time to be having romantic feelings or even thoughts for anyone especially my step-brother speaking of my father he comes home today Molly said after lunch she's going to get him from the airport they will be back around 7 o'clock and she wanted all of us downstairs ready to talk I stayed in the guestroom longer this morning than usual just thinking it's now after 11 and I haven't eaten it is time for brunch I can hear Toby and Jamieson playing the game downstairs from the top of the stairs I haven't heard Toby laugh so hard since our mother passed I'm making breakfast sandwiches you want one I yelled over the boys laughter once I was on the stairs of course was Toby's answer they were his favorite why not Jamieson he told us he never had a breakfast sandwich unless it was from McDonald's or something it only took 10 minutes to make the sandwiches as we ate it was quiet until Toby spoke what you thinking about Jamie
things that a twelve-year-old should not be hearing at that moment I looked up to see Jamie looking at me the way he does
what about you emm
at that moment it was Jamieson and his looks but I couldn't tell Toby that
Dad comes back tonight I'm just thinking about how things will play out
You know things are going to be fine he raised me and I'm not even his blood related to him and from my understanding he tried to be yall life after your mom divorced him I went from calm to piss real quick from your understanding no you don't understand anything Jack Stone left my mom with a 6 year old and a newborn he walked out and never looked back I grew up with my mother been broken she never remarried hell she didn't even date again she never talked bad about him she told Toby they just fell out of love and decided it was best to stay out each other's life completely but she couldn't tell me that because I saw the truth Jack never sent a birthday card letters he didn't even have enough decency send the money to help my mom out
I Jamieson tried to speak but I quickly cut him off
I don't want to hear it you grew up with the love care and nourishment from our father we never got toby he is fine he doesn't have any moments to remember it with him sure he wishes he knew his dad but he had me and our mom that was enough me I have 6 years of loving and memories and I have that one where he turned his back and left it in his past then the memories stop I got up and went to the guest room Jamieson just lost my respect how could he think we would get the same treatment he got I knew nothing good would come from coming here there is no way Jack cares about us he's going to want something in return and I set my pride aside once by coming here I'm not about to do it again to give him what he wants after abandoning my family also because I have nothing of value or use to him the next few hours I spent packing me and Toby's things Toby came to check on me I told him I was fine I just wanted to leave before Molly and Jack arrived he told me since we're leaving he wanted to spend some more time with Jamieson when all our things were together I wrote in my journal

Dear Mom
things aren't going to work out I'm never going to get over the fact that dad left us I wish things could be different because over the past few days I've realized how much having a male figure to look up to affected Toby Jamieson really isn't a bad person if I would have met him and he wasn't my step-brother I think I could have had feelings for him he is everything you told me a good guy would be funny kind smart strong good with kids and treats his mother with the most respect but this is the way things are love emm I ended up falling asleep shortly after I finished writing in my journal when I woke up it was 4:30 dang I slept for 3 hours Molly and Jack should be on their way back from the airport now and I don't want to be in 5 o'clock traffic on a Friday I go downstairs to tell Toby we would probably leave in the morning finding him and Jamieson watching a movie aye Toby we'll just leave in the morning cause traffic is going to be bad now
okay come watch the movie with us he asked I didn't want to intrude on their quality time so I declined come on emm please Toby begged me I finally cooperating with his wishes I sat on the single chair that was diagonal from the TV making it kind of hard for me to see while both to Toby and Jameson sat on the long sofa directly in front of the TV  come sit over here I know you can't see I absolutely hate that chair Jamieson spoke
I was extremely hesitant because Toby was closest to the arm of the chair meaning Jamieson will be in the middle if I sat there but eventually I did we watched fighting with Channing Tatum and Terrence Howard it was a good movie a few seconds after it ended and walked Jack and Molly.....