Two Shades Of Love [boyxboy Sequel]

Two Shades Of Love {15}

                “JJ, why didn’t you tell me you were with Pat yesterday?” Milo asked flatly the next day at school. I froze. “What are you talking about?” I asked calmly.

                “I got worried when you weren’t replying to me, so I texted Gabe and he told me you were with Pat. Why didn’t you just tell me?” he asked. I glared. “Jesus, do I need to tell you everything?” I asked angrily. He looked a little shocked and I sighed and pulled him into my arms, kissing him gently.

                “I’m sorry Milo. He’s just…he’s my best friend,” I mumbled. “JJ, don’t get close to him again. Please. It’s going to hurt you,” Milo whispered.

                “No it won’t! He’s okay Milo! You’ve seen how he acts. It’s the old Pat. He’s really okay,” I argued. “JJ, he’s not and you know it. You don’t heal from that kind of thing,” Milo said quietly. “Shut up Milo! He’s perfectly fine!” I snapped.

                Milo narrowed his eyes angrily as I stepped away from him. “It’s going to hurt you JJ! He’s not okay and you know it!” he snapped angrily before storming away from me.

                “That…That was about me, wasn’t it?”

                I spun to face Pat. His face had gone pale and he had stuffed his hands in his pockets. He was staring at the ground, hurt and guilt in his eyes.

                “No,” I lied and went over to him. “Yea it was. Don’t lie to me JJ. I’m sorry for whatever I did,” he said miserably and I hugged him tightly. “You didn’t do anything, Pat. Milo’s just…jealous of how close we are,” I lied and released him.

                “I’m not trying to take you from him! I swear JJ!” he cried and held his hands up. “I know you’re not, Pat. He’s just paranoid,” I said gently. Hell, maybe he really was paranoid. But he really didn’t have to be. I loved him, not Pat. It just made me mad that he was trying to talk me out of being close to Pat again. He knew how hard it was for me to get close to people, and he was trying to pull me away from Patrick.

                “Don’t worry about it Pat,” I said with a smile. “Want to hang out afterschool?” he asked nervously and I nodded. “Sure! Milo can come, right?” I asked and he nodded. “Awesome. Max will drop us off,” I said, deciding I would need to warn Milo to back off.

                Pat nodded and smiled happily. “Can’t wait,” he said honestly. I looked deep in his eyes, and only saw my old best friend. Milo was wrong. Pat was fine.

                                                                                ***Pat’s POV***

                Oh no. Oh no, no, no. It…It had been an accident. I hadn’t meant to do it. I had just been thinking about what I had heard Milo saying to JJ today and…it…no. I didn’t mean to do it.

                I whimpered and sat down heavily. “Move,” I whispered to myself. JJ and Milo were going to be here soon, and Gabe or my dad would come out to get me. I couldn’t let them see what I had done.

                I felt tears hit my eyes and my breathing began to increase. “It was an accident,” I whispered and gripped my head as it began to pound violently. I was getting flashes of things again.

                This time, I was positive it had been a closet. Something with a closet…What? Lips on mine, my hands wrapped around…wrapped around what? Urges. The urge to hurt my dad. But…no…no I would never hurt my dad. I loved my dad. Of course I would never hurt him.

                I forced myself to move. I looked around the backyard and grabbed a stick. I used it to pick up the thing lying in front of me and snuck around to the front of the house. Making sure no one was looking, I tossed it in the road and hurried around to the back of the house again.

                I looked at the rocks on the ground and gulped as more tears rose in my eyes. I wrapped my arms around my knees and rested my forehead on them.

                “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to. I swear I didn’t mean,” I whispered and squeezed my eyes shut, feeling a tear leak out. I heard the back door open and quickly wiped my face.

                “Pat? You okay buddy?” my dad asked gently, sitting next to me and placing a hand on my back. I nodded, keeping my face buried in my knees. “JJ and Milo are here,” he said, gently rubbing my back.

                I nodded again. “Hey, what’s wrong Pat? Did something happen?” he asked in concern. I shook my head. No, I would never hurt my dad. Would he hate me? Would he hate me if he knew what I had just done?

                Poker face. Had to slap on a poker face. I took a shaky breath and pulled my head up. “Nothing happened dad. I swear,” I said, my voice sounding almost normal. “You sure?” dad asked and I nodded. He kissed my forehead and helped me up. “Okay. Well, they’re all up in Gabe’s room,” he said as we walked inside together.

                I stopped in the bathroom quick and wiped my face, washing my hands too. I went up to Gabe’s room and they all looked over at me. I noticed that JJ and Milo weren’t sitting together.

                Gabe grinned and jerked his thumb at JJ. “Max ran over a bird in front of our house,” he said and JJ rolled his eyes. “He was freaking out. I was like, daddy, chill. It was a bird,” he said, shaking his head and sighing.

                Guilt struck me powerfully, but I forced myself to smile as I sat next to JJ. I noticed Milo giving me a look I didn’t quite like. He stood up and glanced at JJ. “JJ, I need to talk to you,” he said. JJ glared at him but followed him out of Gabe’s room anyways.

                “What’s up with them?” I asked. Gabe shrugged. “They had a fight, I guess,” he said and leaned back casually. A fight about me, no doubt with the way Milo had been looking at me. But that was okay, because I was starting to calm down. I had just lost my temper. It wouldn’t happen again. It had just been an accident. But I was okay, and Milo would see that and stop giving me those looks.