I Was Never Okay, I Promise.

To The End.. ( I Was Never Okay, I Promise part four )

like I said, more action in this chapter. please don't hate me. a cliffhanger is a cliffhanger, right?  and no, this is NOT the last chapter.    hope you enjoy.    -J

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*** Gerards View ***

I can do this, I can do this. I know I can do this. It's just a store. I can go in a store, right? I can do that, I can do this myself.

I took a deep breath and turned off the car, and stepped out of it, starting to walk in the direction of the entrance to Target. I shoved my fidgety hands into my pockets of my coat, and  looked around.

It was a few days after Christmas, and New Years was in two days. I didn't really like New Years. Even though it felt like it was the end of everything, and something new was beginning, I couldn't help but feel like something was being stripped away from me. Like, a part of myself was being left behind.

I made it through the front doors with out any worry, and grabbed a small basket since I wasn't getting much . Frankie wasnt with me because,

1. I hate feeling like I'm relying on him for everything.

2. I can go to Target and get coffee, popcorn, and a movie by myself, without a problem.

Well, i don't know if the second one was completely true, but maybe I could do it.

Just maybe.

The only real reason I was nervous about doing this alone, probably was having a fucking mental breakdown in the middle of the store. And everyone looking at me. I shook my head at the idea and went to go the snack isle to find the popcorn. I picked out the brand that me and Frank decided was the best brand in the whole universe, and put it in the basket I was carrying. I turned around and started to head the isle with all the coffee products and that stuff. I turned the corner, and looked down at my shoe, which had come untied. I told myself I would tie it after I found my coffee because coffee is much more important then anything else at the moment- but then I walked into someone. I looked up and apologized immediately, not realizing who I was talking to. My words caught in my throat and my heart started to pound.

Oh my god.

It was you.

You.. you were standing there, with a bag of coffee ground in your hand apologizing also. You stopped and looked at my probably shocked expression, and stopped mid-sentence.

" Gerard? " you said quietly.

" I- I'm sorry -" you cut me off.

" Don't even talk to me . I don't want anything to do with you, don't you realize that? Hell, I wouldn't even care if you died. Better off, anyway. " you told me, your voice full of venom. I couldnt speak. I mean, I could but I was scared I would say something stupid. What am I saying,I always say something stupid. " I d-didnt see you, I'm sorry. " yep, definitely stupid.

" Sorry doesn't cut it. Just. Just go crawl back to whatever friends you had. Or have you made life hell for them too?"

I bit my lip and wondered how many people were staring at us now.

" I.. " I couldn't say a word. I felt defeated.

" That's what I thought. " you muttered, and pushed pass me.

There were about three people standing with me in the isle, looking at you then back at me. One came over to me and tried to say something, but I couldnt understand what they were saying. My head was spinning.

I set my basket on the ground without a word. I walked out of the isle and then out of the store, and to my car. I sighed and got into the driver seat, and I could feel the tears coming. I bit my lip and turned the car on, not bothering with the radio because it would be just my luck Taylor Swift would be playing. I started to drive home slowly. My heart was still pounding. I felt like my chest was being smashed in and I couldnt breath. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, just wanting to get home.