Falling In Love With You | cth

Author's Note

hello, I'm not even sure if people are still reading this book at this point, but I am glad that this book has come to an end and I will edit the sequel. but some things have been bothering me and I would like to share it.

When I first wrote this book, I probably around 12 or 13 since it was the age I first discovered 5SOS and I was taking someone else creation's of falling in love with my bully but there's a lot of books that are similar in the same way with the same title. I apologize for taking that credit. anyhow, I was only in 7th grade, I was creative in writing but my grammar never made sense, sometimes I feel I may have dyslexia since many adults would tell me 'I was not speaking appropriate English', but my little self did not want to give up and I continued to write anyhow. now, my mom always told me, never write or talk about any topic that you don't support and I didn't listen to her, I regret it. So after finishing this book by the end of my freshman year and re-reading this at the beginning of my junior year, you guys wouldn't believe the amount of disgust I felt against myself.

I never made Calum apologize to Cassidy for bullying to her, I allowed Cassidy to forgive him so easily, and that's just- I was disappointed with my younger self. Along with my grammar, I was always made fun of by my peers at a young age because I 'talked like a baby', it was basically verbal bullying from what my family members told me, so how could I do that? Promote something I didn't like that I went through something similar? Because of me 'talking like a baby', I stopped talking, I didn't bother to learn on my writing and speaking skills, this affected me as I got older because it was hard to speak my thoughts, opinions, ideas, etc., why would I do that?

So I started to re-edit my writing, to fix all of my grammar of course but so that in my senior year I could re-write the whole book. Adding things I wanted to add in but I didn't and things that needed to be right and excluding things that were unnecessary at some times. going off with my mom telling me to never support sensitive topics, I don't want people to think that you should fall in love with your bully or someone who hates you, but why did I allow Cassidy to fall in love with Calum? I don't know why and i should know better, maybe I was too tired to write more and that's my mistake too, but my creation for Cassidy is that she has a kind heart, is she judgmental? yes, she can be and is, but she does it to protect herself.

people make mistakes, I made one with this book. I feel that I need to address this and apologize even though people continue to write these types of books and others support it. 

also, I watched a silent voice by Naoko Yamada while re-writing this book (if you haven't seen the movie, it's honestly so good), shoya's mistake made me realize that I didn't make Calum asked for forgiveness with Cassidy even though they made amends, Cassidy should have every right to be cautious around Calum and the reason why Calum had allowed and received the backlash. before I even re-edit the book, Calum had gotten away with the bullying and I didn't want that as I was re-editing, just like I made a mistake for 'promoting bullying', Calum acknowledges the mistake and the reason why he allowed for the truth be revealed by his former classmates what he did to Cassidy and everything else. he wanted to become a better person before and after the black lash. now that I released that out, I feel relieved now.

from 12 years old me to 18 years old me, damn my writing skills were pretty bad. even though I feel my writing is just plain boring and not creative, I just have creative ideas, you guys wouldn't believe the difference I made. When the book finished before, I had a total of 56 parts including the unedited author's notes, can you believe that? now I'm at 43 parts, it may not be a big difference, but it is to me. I just love long chapters, don't you? even though my version of long chapters is pretty long that it probably got annoying at some point that you all probably just read through that quick. don't worry I would've done the same before.

now that this book has come to an end, I decided to change the title to Falling In Love With You from Falling In Love With My Bully. also it's time to re-write the sequel, wish me luck!