Please, Let Me Hold You When You Cry

3. Cuddle Like We Used To

We all walked out of the restaurant, well, Danny was carried out. We all arrived at the bus in no time, and Jordon was the first one on. 

Dylan looked at me for a second, "Do you want us to go check out the venue so you guys can talk?" 

"Um, yeah. I think that will help. Thanks, guys," I said, smiling at the thought of them caring as much as I do.

"We'll text you before we're on our way," Jay said as he adjusted Danny in his arms, with a slight struggle. 

I nodded and stepped on the bus, shutting the door behind me. Jordon wasn't in the front but his shoes were discarded near the front. I walked to the bunks and looked in his, sure enough he was laying down. 

His back was too me and he was sort of curled up. 

"Are you avoiding the talk, Jordon?" I asked, though I already know the answer. 

He somewhat nodded and seemed to have tightened his ball position, as though trying to cradle himself. 

I took off my shoes and crawled into his bunk, I spooned him and held him tightly. He slowly melted into my embrace, and let out a sigh of relief. I felt his hand but I didn't feel his wedding ring, it was gone. 

"Jordon? Where's your ring?" I asked slowly. 

"Why do I need a ring if I'm no longer married?" He answered, his voice had no hint of sadness, or happiness. but yet it was a little hoarse. 

"What happened between you guys?" I asked even slower than the first question. 

I didn't know if I was hitting a soft spot or if he truly didn't care about the divorce at all. 

"I.." He thought for a second, "I didn't feel anything for her. I never did, I married her because my dad liked her, and other reasons but that doesn't really matter."

He never liked her? That's very shocking coming from Charlie Scene. But, why does he care so much about his dad liking her?

Before I even opened my mouth to ask another question he cut me off as though reading my mind. 

"No, she's not the reason for this. Its something else," He said quietly.

He's very calm about the first real conversation anybody's had with him in weeks, maybe even months. 

"Jordon, I'm sorry to say this but I don't want you alone right now. I know how it feels to be alone after a divorce," I said, subconsciously holding him tighter. 

I heard him take a breath to say something against it, but it was my turn to cut him off. 

"Since we're taking time off and going home after this show, I want you to come stay at my place," I said, adding a please at the end. 

He tensed slightly but sighed because he knows how stubborn I can be. 

"Alright," He said slowly. 

I hugged him tightly and buried my face into his back, "Thank you."

My voice was muffled and I felt his back get warmer from my breath. 

"Jordy, you know I love you to death and back. I care about you and that's why I keep bothering you about this. I wanna see you happy, I miss that smile," I said. 

He buried his face into the pillow and said something to muffled for me to hear. 

"If I asked you to say that again, would you?" I mumbled, pulling his head into my chest. 

He slowly rolled over and buried his face into my chest, his messy hair tickling my chin. He shook his head and gently gripped my shirt, holding onto me tightly. 

"Alright, I understand," I said. 

That's the most talking he's done in weeks, so I didn't want to push it any further than I probably have. I'm proud of him for talking to me and letting me hold him like this. 

When we were teenagers we would always cuddle. Just holding him and feeling him wrap his arms around my neck and just bury himself into me, put the biggest smile on both of our faces. I never saw this as an act of romance, well, I did a few times. 

Jay also asked me if Jordon was gay. 

Did he ever see our relationship as romantic or loving? Did Jordon?

Jordon's never had more than a few girlfriends maybe, and he's always off after a night of partying. Nobody sees him leave the bar with all the girls he says he bangs.

I've never really realized that until now.

I wanted to ask him, but all I could hear was his even breathing. He fell asleep again. I gently kissed his forehead, and watched as a smile formed on his sleeping face.

He looked peaceful, maybe I should sleep with him a few nights a week?

I felt my phone vibrate, which was probably Jay saying they're on their way.

My arms tighten a little, holding him closer. You could see how broken he is from the way he walks, or just glancing into his eyes.

I want to know what hurt him so badly, it hurts me to see him that way.

He snuggled into my chest with a small snore. He looked happy.

A smile stuck on my face as I watched him. Within minutes the front door opened and footsteps filled the bus.

The first head I saw was a head full of curls. I smiled as Matt looked in the bunk and looked at Jordon.

"What did you do?" He whispered.

"I just talked to him, and held him," I whispered back, "He went right to sleep. Him and Randi got divorced but he doesn't seem to care."

"Hmm, weird. At least he's talking right?" He answered with a small smile.

His smile was interrupted by a squeal but he covered his mouth. Dylan smacked his ass as he walked by and started digging in his bunk.

"You guys have been really touchy lately," I whispered and chuckled.

His cheek turned pink, "I'm trying to savor these moments, before he ignores me tomorrow."

"If you just talked to him, I bet you guys would be together," I suggested.

"Maybe, let's just focus on Jordon for now," he said and walked back into the living room sadly.

I hope everything gets better soon, I miss all the smiles.

Wow, this kinda sucked. I'm sorry it's sooo short but I promise the next chapter will be longer.

Here is this iffy chapter and I'll try to update again as soon as I can