Kaleidoscope eyes

Chapter two

I saw galaxies in your eyes and wanted to explore them until the end of time|
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The knocking at my door was getting on my nerves. My head was pounding and I was weak with sleep. The party the night before had lasted until the early hours and I had only been asleep for a couple of hours.
'Wake up and do something with your life!' my sister, Ella, yelled from outside my door. 'I swear I'll break down this door if you don't open it in five seconds.'
I got up from bed because part of me actually believed she would do it. I trudged to the door, unlocked it and yanked it open. Ella stood right outside my door. Her arms were crossed and her foot was tapping. Her chin was slightly tilted so that she could stare me dead in the eye. Despite being twenty one and two years older, she was slightly shorter than me.
'Ewww, I can still smell the smoke on you,' she grimaced.
She gazed at me from head to toe, taking in my appearance and shuddered. I understood why: My hair was probably ruffled, my eyes probably bloodshot and I was still in last night's crumpled clothes- the ones I smoked in. Last night I had given into my cravings and smoked about five cigarettes out of boredom. The stale smoke still clung to me.
'Is there a reason as to why you are annoying me at nine o'clock in the morning?' I groaned, ignoring her statement.
'To start with, it's eleven o'clock.' She corrected. 'Moreover, while mom and dad are on vacation, I'm in charge and I say you should get up.'
Our parents had decided they needed a break from a full house and their demanding jobs and had taken a week's vacation at some resort.
'What do you think they'd say if they discovered you smoke?' She asked. 'And,my gosh, the twins, how about if they saw you in this state? They look up to you.'
The twins, Ethan and Elijah, were our four year old half-brothers.
Although my parents were well aware of my party ways, they knew I didn't really do anything that went overboard. They were quite reluctant at first, but when they realised I always told Ella or them where I was going and always came home only slightly after midnight and I was always perfectly sober, my mom said, "Oh just let him have his fun, he's doing nothing wrong." If they ever found out about my smoking habit they would be so greatly disappointed.
It was only Ella, in my family, who knew I smoked. She discovered it about two weeks ago. It was around two in the morning and I was having one of those sleepless nights. The ones where I wondered how I ended up like this. It was usually these times when I would have my weekly cigarette. I had tried to be as silent as possible as I made my way outside to the front veranda. There was always something relaxing about having a cigarette, outside, at two a.m.
'So you smoke.'
Ella's statement wasn't a question nor was it an accusation, it was merely an observation.
'Occasionally,' I replied, 'maybe once a week.'
She was standing behind me, her eyes drilling holes in my back. I hadn't turned to face her, I just couldn't. So I kept staring as the smoke made its way up the sky to puncture holes in the ozone layer. How many things did these things actually destroy?
'I heard rustling, locks unbolting, doors unlocking and I thought I'd check it out,' Ella explained.
'I might have been an armed burglar for all you know,' I snorted.
'I also heard your door open and I put two and two together.'
'Figures.'
She made her way to the edge of the porch and sat next to me, so that our knees were touching.
'You've changed so much, I knew something was up,' she sighed.
I didn't respond as I blew another cloud of smoke into the night sky. It was just like Ella to notice the change in me. Ella and I had always had a bond, and even though she now spent most of her days at a nearby college, we could still notice the slight differences in each other.
'It was Samantha and Kelvin right?' she assumed, but it wasn't them. 'Whatever happened to Andrew and Joan? You were so close to them. Now you are getting influenced by the wrong crowd, telling you to do cigarettes 'cause it's cool -'
'Geez Ella! It's nobody's bloody fault but mine, alright!'
She didn't expect such an outburst and honestly neither did I. My shoulders slackened and I let out a shaky breath.
'Let's just say I chose the wrong side and I lost two dear friends.' I sighed, 'Let's just say I lost myself.'
Ella hadn't commented after that. Instead she gazed at me with compassion and understanding. She sat in silence, right next to me, and waited until I finished my cigarette.
Looking down at Ella now, as she stood outside my door, I realised her serious expression had softened to the understanding one she had given me those two weeks ago.
'I'm just looking out for you, Zee.' She sighed. 'I just want you to do something with your life.'
'I will do something with my life.' I responded.
'Like what?'
I gave her a grin. 'I'll go by the library today.'
Ella raised an eyebrow before returning my smile. She knew just how much I hated the library.
'Oh please Zee, the day that happens it will be the end of your world as you know it,' she laughed.
#
I hadn't expected to go to the library. I was certainly not actually planning on it. I hated reading unless it actually required me to. Most of my book reviews were based on movies and I studied right off the internet, even though you could still count the internet as actual reading.
Anyway, I had originally planned on spending the rest of my day in my room but eventually the boredom got to me and so did my craving for nicotine. The feeling wasn't the same as the first one I had experienced, two months ago, at that party. With that realisation, my body wanted more and more to relive the experience, to take the edge off. I had been very good at keeping the craving at bay but last night I had gone overboard and smoked five. I didn't want to become addicted like one of those chain smokers but I felt jittery. About then my phone rang and I was glad for the momentary distraction.
'Hey Zee!' Samantha chirped. 'So there's this party-'
I groaned. Did this girl ever rest? This would be the third party she would be dragging me to in the past four days.
'I can't today,' I cut her.
'Why not?' I could almost imagine her pouting on the other end of the line.
'Well, I have other plans,' I responded, hoping it would put an end to her interrogation. It didn't work.
'What plans? Do they involve coke? I'd kill for some cocaine right now,' she remarked.
'Actually, no. You wouldn't like these plans. I was actually planning on, uhm -' I fidgeted around my room, trying to think of an excuse.
'Yes?' she pestered on.
'Going to the library,' I pitched up remembering what I had told Ella.
There was a silence and I crossed my fingers hoping Samantha would buy it. I wondered why I was lying. Why couldn't I just tell her I wasn't in the mood for another party? Had I been reduced to lying about what I actually wanted to do because I was afraid of losing the only friends I had even if I hadn't really adapted to their lifestyle? I was pathetic
'The library?' she wondered as if she hadn't quite registered what I had said.
'Yeah, I was planning to read a little about my course. I mean, what do I even know about psychology anyway?' I stated. 'Six months will fly by and I wouldn't have a clue what I'll be doing with my life. I'll probably need to rest after all that reading even.'
'Booooooring.' Samantha commented, a little too dramatically. 'I'll just text you the address in case you change your mind and decide to have some real fun.'
With that she cut the phone before I could get another word out.
I let out a sigh of relief as I made my way back to my bed. Now that I had Samantha off my back I had the whole night free. The house was quiet since Ella and the twins had gone to school and what not. The unsettling feeling of boredom, tinged with certain heaviness came back soon, and with that the craving of a cigarette to make it all go away.
That's how I found myself at the library, trying to keep my mind from wandering away to my cigarette packet tucked away in my socks drawer. So far the library wasn't much help either. It was so silent and my head was screaming. I wasn't making any great decisions as of late it seemed. The psychology books were all huge, filled with information on broad topics based on the ideologies of some crazy guys. After thirty minutes of torturing my mind, I was on the verge of actually attending the party Samantha had mentioned.
I was placing the books I had taken back on their shelves, which was against protocol as I later learned, and that's when I saw you. You were at the end of the aisle where I was standing. You were on your toes, trying to reach a book on the top shelf. It amused me and maybe that's what drew me closer to you. I sneaked my way to where you were so that I was standing right behind you. You didn't notice my presence and I almost laughed aloud at your cluelessness. I took in your appearance. You had choppy black hair, which seemed to be cut chin length with a blunt scissors, combed to one side. You were slender and graceful with a few curves here and there. You were wearing plain black jeans and a white, almost translucent, long-sleeved shirt that was a bit loose but tightened around your wrists and waist. From the back of your neck as well as your hands I could tell you had beautiful dark skin, like milk coffee or something. Something about you made me smile.
I reached out from behind you and grabbed the book you were trying to get. You weren't necessarily short, but I had a few more inches on me than you did.
'Greek myths and legends.' I read the title out loud. 'Is it any good?'
I grinned goofily as I waited for you to turn around. You did. I froze for a minute. I let out a slight gasp. Your eyes were like a kaleidoscope.