Reconnect: The Story of an old flame

Part 2: Chilaquiles and Photos

"I'll have the same."

Kelly and I always order the same thing- Chilaquiles verdes with a scrambled egg and a bolillo. We always go to lunch at 11:45 to beat the lunch rush and we always go to the same place, where we sit at the same table, in the same chairs and drink coffee. It's our Friday tradition- I'm sure you must have some with your life long best friends.

That's who Kelly is- my absolute best friend. The girl I met in the 8th grade when I transferred schools and knew no one else. She was friendly, chatty and had a strangeness to her that I admired. We clicked instantly- it was like best friend love at first sight.

We extremely different though- she's the emotional sort, a dreamer. She's very social and finds it easy to spark up conversations with almost anyone. She's outgoing but a little traditional, and so as far as politics and religion go, they are two conversations always left off the table. Kelly is so spontaneous too, not the type to plan or think ahead. Me? I'm nothing like that. I'm the kind that will start the assignment on the first day even though we have all spring break to finish it. I'm practical, I never lead with my emotions and I think everything through at least twice before taking a leap. I'm also extremely shy, although I've gotten better about it, and I'm the least traditional and/or conservative person you'll ever meet.

So what brings us together? We still don't know. Kelly puts her ketchup in the pantry, I keep it in the fridge, She reads fashion magazines, I get bored easily with celebrity gossip. Kelly wants a big family full of babies, I'm not even interested in marriage. She lives by the belief that everything has been written, Maktub, and swears by fate. I'm more of a believer in making the happy coincidences and accidents in the universe work.

"You're such a carbon copy." She says with a grin. "Always have been."

She's referring to our senior prom- nothing more embarrassing than showing up in the same dress as your best friend. Why oh why didn't we communicate more about the dresses before hand?

"Yeah Yeah." I mutter, prepping my coffee, again the same as hers. Two creamers, one sugar- no stevia or splenda, one real sugar.

"How's school?" Kelly asked. We always start the conversations the same. I'm always very awkward when it comes to talking about my emotions. INTJ on the Myers-Briggs scale, so I usually need some idle chatter before easing into the important stuff. That's why I go to therapy, or another reason, I have trouble communicating my emotions. Even when I do talk to Kelly or Jen, our other best friend and ring leader of our infamous trio, about what's going on with me, it's always so factual. There's a lot I don't even bother trying to say- it's too exhausting.

"Good- First semester is certainly kicking my ass." I say. I have a tendency towards swearing, more so now that Daniel isn't around to stop me or tell me it isn't very lady like. I fork around the food on the plate, it takes me a while to get started as I count the calories. I'm not anorexic, I don't suffer from an eating disorder. It's all about control.

"I can't believe you're voluntarily going back to school. I was so happy when it was over." She comments as she watches me play with my food. It looks so good.

"I'll never drop the extra weight this way." I say as I finally give in and take a bite. This first bite gives way to another and now I'm eating normally.

"There's nothing wrong with your weight." Kelly reminds me and I know it's true. Still...

"I've gained over 10 pounds since I moved back." I say.

"You still look amazing." Kelly replies. "Sara- you don't have to worry about that anymore. Just be you."

Kelly knows what my problem is, Daniel. He used to plan all my meals for me, down to the last slice of whole wheat toast. Daniel kept a tight control on what I ate, how much I ate, how often I ate and how much exercise I got. I have to admit, I was pretty hot. Haha. But it's true- I was in great shape, not an extra ounce of fat and I'd never been that slim before nor do I believe I'll ever be that slim again. Of course, Daniel hated it when I started gaining weight. I hated how important my looks were to him, how much energy I had to focus on them. I hated thinking that the thing I invested the most time on was how I looked because that was important to Daniel.