Reconnect: The Story of an old flame

Part 4: A loser and A dreamer

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

The words had been repeated to me over and over and quite frankly, I was so over it. The Sunday after I had lunch with Kelly, my uncle passed away.

It shouldn't have come to a surprise to us. He'd been sick for a very long time. He was diabetic, had blood pressure problems and had been on dialysis for over two years now for renal failure. Only a few months back he'd taken a fall that had fractured one of his ribs but still... just the night before he'd been sitting with us at a cook out, eating to his heart's content. He was a funny man, jolly and lively and always joking. He never married, never had children and so in his later years, he'd settled in and lived with my mother, his sister and so I got to see much of him.

He was everyone's favorite uncle and to me, he had an infinitely special place. I suppose it's because I've spent more time with him than with my own father. The man took over the role without question and the only example I've ever had of what it feels like to have a father, is from him.

Still, I wasn't crying inconsolably- I was in shock and too busy trying to micromanage everything around me. My mother was naturally a mess and my siblings all had their children to deal with, children who were also close to my uncle. As usual it felt as though things were left in my hands and I honestly preferred it that way. I made the calls, I notified people, I arranged for his viable organs to be donated, and I made the funeral arrangements. Now I sat in the funeral home lobby, staring at his cellphone and wishing I hadn't agreed to take it. I know someone has to answer it, someone has to take the calls but for a split moment, I thought it was so unfair that it had to be me. Still, I wasn't going to complain. My only worry is that my mother is okay.

I hadn't slept much the night before- I know part of it was because of all the big loses in my life recently but another was the dream. I needed to be honest and face it- Nancy's wedding was getting to me.

What in the world caused me to dream about high school? Specifically about that first meeting. I had completely forgotten about it. Completely. It's like the memory had been archived and placed in the back of my mind. I leaned back in one of the plush arm chairs and rested my head on my hand. I can't believe I forgot it. I could almost vividly remember staring at the flyer I was giving and thinking: No, nope. Not gonna do this. Of course I remembered that I marched Cymbals for two years and that we actually won quite a few awards but I never thought about it anymore. Never. It's not like I was trying to avoid the subject, it just never came to mind. Such an odd instrument to march... I remember it was everyone's reaction when they asked and I told them. But I did. I marched cymbals and it was all because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'd forgotten that part. I'd forgotten that the entire reason I joined the cymbal line was because of a mix up. I closed my eyes, I was so tired and without realizing it, I began to drift off.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" Tanya asked when the meeting was over and I started going back towards my locker, where my backpack sat on the floor.

"Sure." I mumbled, reaching up and pulling my clarinet case out. I began to rearrange things in my back pack, making room for the case.

"So, what did you think?" Tanya asked. I looked up from where I was kneeling and sighed.

"Listen, It sounds great but it's not my thing. You know- joining in, marching and all that. This isn't like when they try to convince me to march clarinet, this is drumline. Just look at the summer schedule- drum camps, drumathons, sectionals and this doesn't even include band camp. I won't have time... nor am I known for being the most motivated person." I said.

"So- I'm doing it!" Amy said.

"Look at them." I said, signalling in their direction. "They're thinking 'what the hell is she doing here?' They're thinking it's annoying that the laziest person in the band is now going to be their problem."