I Wanna Be Yours

Chapter 4

I hope you know
I won't let go
I'll be your lifeline tonight
~ Cold Water - Conor Maynard

1 year and a half ago

Leah was escorted onto the balcony of the restaurant where she was meeting Simon and there he was, standing beside a table lit by candlelight, holding a bouquet of flowers. Leah's heart started beating faster, her palms were sweating.

"Simon, ano 'to?" She asked.

He handed her the flowers. "This is for you."

"Thank you."

"Leah, we've been working together for almost a year now and I can't stand not saying anything anymore. I love you, Leah. I'm in love with you."

"Simon..."

"I know...I know all the reasons I shouldn't. I'm your  boss. Hindi tayo pwede. But...I can't be the only one that feels something, right?"

Leah looked down. Yes, she's harbored a crush on Simon. But she never entertained the thought of actually being with him. She knows it's impossible, for many reasons.

"Importante sa akin ang trabaho ko," Leah said. "Kailangan ko 'to para sa pampagamot para kay Tatang..."

"Leah." Simon took the flowers from her and set it on the table then took her hands in his. "I promise hindi ka mapapahamak sa trabaho. No one will find out about us. And if they do, I'll do everything I can to protect you."

"Simon..." Leah still tried to protest.

"Leah, I haven't felt this way about anyone since...since Juliet." The name was still obviously painful for him to say. "I just need to know, do you feel even a little bit of something for me?"

Simon's hands were warm and even just the feel of his large hands over her smaller ones made butterflies flutter in her belly. But was it love? Leah has never been in love before so she wouldn't know. She gave a small nod because she was sure she felt something. And perhaps it was love or...something that would grow into love.

"Then will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my girlfriend?"

Leah looked up into Simon's eyes, so earnest, so hopeful. So different from the Simon of six months ago. In that moment, it was Nanang's face that flashed through her mind. When Leah was eight she had asked her mother how she knew she had found the man she was going to love and marry. Nanang had spun her a fairytale love story about how she and Tatang had been enemies when they met and then became very best friends and then one day, just suddenly realized they were in love. She concluded  by saying this:

"Basta mararamdaman mo, anak. Dito." She put a hand over Leah's heart. "Alam ng puso mo kapag natagpuan niya ang katuwang niya, at isisigaw niya 'yan sa 'yo."

Leah didn't feel any kind of  certainty. She didn't hear her heart screaming at her that 'this is the one.' But her Nanang was gone now. Leah was bereft of the wise guidance that only a mother can give. With Simon she felt butterflies and warmth. There was danger to having a relationship with him because they could lose their jobs, but he made her feel safe in spite of that. So maybe Leah wasn't completely sure, but what she knew made her nod her head.