Assassin's Creed | Reader

Shay x Reader [ I want a family ] Part 1

"I'm just saying, it's a thought"

"A rather persistent thought" I muttered, my eyes lifting from the book sitting in my lap. Shay stood on the other side of the room, fiddling with his gear with his back turned to me. "I wouldn't have to keep bringing it up if you would...talk to me about it" he muttered. "I don't want to talk about it right now..." I grit out, looking down at my book once more as an attempt to drop this conversation. "So then when will you talk to me about it?" He says sharply, the belt hitting the bench harder then expected, or maybe it was just me

That's when I fell silent. I wanted to drop this conversation, I wanted to go to bed and wake up tomorrow going back to daily chores like cleaning or chasing off damn foxes from trying to kill our cat. But Shay was a persistent man...he wasn't going to drop it as quickly this time around. "I don't understand why it's so hard to talk about" He kept on going, turning to look over at me. I knew he was staring at me, even if my eyes were still glued on the same page and on the same word for some time. "I don't understand, I mean is it not something you want as well? Children?" He said with a silent message of Talk to me please, his eyes burning into my body. I sighed, shifting my body uncomfortablely and trying so hard to ignore him as much as I hated it. "Are you actually going to talk to me tonight about it or pretend I'm not here" he added. He didn't fall short of adding skme attitude as well.

All I could do was flip the page like I was really reading my book, my stomach churning with guilt. He wanted to talk. Wanted to talk about having children, and there was me, trying to push that subject away further and further. But the more it comes up, the more heated the conversation gets and not in the good way. I...I know he wanted to talk about it but I just...I couldn't. For my own reasons....my own selfish reasons.

He climbed into bed silently, his back facing me and not saying a word about the conversation. Usually he would nag me about putting down my book or hurry up and join him in bed. But tonight, he once more left me with the cold shoulder. And probably will carry on this attitude to morning. I closed my book slowly, looking at his back for a moment before setting it aside on the end table and blowing out the candle. I wish he would understand, take it from my view that this wasn't something I could just talk about without....worries. Without taking the whole situation into consideration.

Unlike him, I took it all into consideration everything about our lives and included the possibility of us having a child. Unlike Shay who seemed to brighten up about the thought of having a child, about having his own legacy go on and being able to raise a son or a daughter. He wanted a family so badly but....he didn't see the bigger picture like I did.

His questioning started off innocent, just teasing the fact of having a child. Then he got serious one night, sat me down and gave me the whole speech. It only began to turn sour when I kept refusing to give him an answer and a proper reason.

So for whatever number night in a row, I turned my back from him as well. Closing my eyes, wanting nothing more then to voice my concerns without hopelessly crushing his vision of a perfect family.

By morning, Shay was already gone and I was left trying to think of different ways to keep me busy and leaving me no room to think about the other night. Sure it wasn't bad, it was a short 'argument' but still it lingered. The cold shoulder he was giving me, the amounts of distance he kept putting between us. It worried me, it worried me for our marriage and our future. But couldn't he see the biggest problem in this whole entire picture? The main point that was so obvious that it screamed danger?

Why couldn't he see that having a child was risky because of him being a Templar? Shay wasn't like any other Templar at least...as far as I knew. And the Assassins...if they needed to get to Shay somehow would they risk going right to his family in order to get to him? I....I don't know a lot about how this works with the Brotherhood and the Templars but...I wasn't going to put a child, my child, at risk because of it. I didn't want to tell Shay that I was....

This cycle just kept on going you know, me avoiding the topic and Shay being the one to get angry or sad about not being able to talk about it. It ruined moods, hell we haven't had sex in what feels like forever cause Shay would think 'Oh she wants to make little me!'

I just couldn't face him

When he left for long missions he would always make sure that we were on somewhat good grounds before going off, he wanted to leave knowing I wasn't sitting at home dreading his return or returning home to find me gone and some note on the bed. But every time I told him it was fine it wasn't, it was never fine because I dreaded him asking about it again.

After a week or so, Shay returned home from some god awful mission...and hopefully not wanting to talk about...it.

But instead of doing his usual silent routine he came barging into the bedroom while I was trying to change the bed, scaring the living shit out of me. "Shay? Wh-" I started but instead of him stopping to tell me what was wrong he came walking rather intimidating at me ( How would you feel if a angry Irish man was coming at you like some gorilla? ) forcing me to back up until my back hit the wall.

I mean, he looked angry but at the same time something was hidden behind those eyes of his. His hands came to grab my hips and his lips pressed against mine feverishly. Which in turn only further startled me since this was rather abnormal for Shay to do...when he was upset that is not during um...his 'excited' moments. But this was odd, it was weird and sudden. And after not seeing him for a while, it only made my head hurt in trying to connect these dots.

When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead to mine, one hand digging into my hair like he was trying to keep me still and in focus. To keep me from running. "Why?" he whispered, his voice sounding raw like he was just yelling moments ago. His emotions on display for me to hear. "Why (Y/N)?" he whispered again, when my eyes darted away he only turned his head so he could keep eye contact. "Is it...is it me? Do I...Do you not want...can you not have a child or...why? Just...please tell me" He murmured, begging almost for my explanation. His tone of voice shattered my heart and my chest ached. He was begging for a explanation that he so rightfullu deserved.

"I...I..." I tried to speak but words were failing me, I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to tell him I was frightened and just wanted to drop it. I didn't want to tell him that I didn't want to live a life knowing that maybe one day he would be killed by some assassin or some other Templar or maybe even someone else trying to use us to get to him. I was...

"I'm...scared" I forced out, which only seemed to be the key to the rest of the locks I've been horribly maintaining. The cages of my emotions began to rattle and the flood gates slowly opened up.

"I'm just scared Shay...."

"I'm so scared"

Authors Note

I know that the ending is kind of meh but I'm trying to lead it up to the Shay lemon I promised you guys. I want to give some backstory here and there. And I know this isn't the best either but I'll probably edit it some day. I'm just really wanting to work on this new book I started, I got this cool idea and wanted to kick it off right away. It's a normal assassin's creed fanfic, no Hunters or whatever. It's just something for me to turn to when I need it, when I hit writers block or have the lack to write anything for this book.

I'll have Chapter One of that book up soon-ish? Depends on how I feel about it. But Part 2 of this should be up tomorrow night, hopefully. I have to go back to school next week (sad face) but it shouldn't be as hectic and gape filled like last time. This time around I got a steady handle on college...maybe.

Anyway enjoy the story! Send me some interesting requests or whatever, and keep on a look out for the newest chapter of my book.

I'll give you a little fact about it though: It will contain lot's of Jacob Frye

EDIT: I went through this and changed some details cause after reading a very nice fanfic of Jacob Frye I realized how I sucked at details up until night time or until I read a very detailed fanfic