We all squeezed on the three seated white leather sofa in Cheryl’s living room. We just watched three Disney movies in a row. Toy Story, Toy story 2 and Bambi,they never get old no matter how old I get or how many times I’ve watched them. Lexi was fast asleep sprawled out on my lap underneath the thick blanket we were all tucked under. Amy was also asleep she was lent to the side under Cheryl’s arm snuggling into her like she had known her forever.
“I better get going and put the girls to bed” I carefully stand up trying my best not to wake Lexi. I move my eyes towards the window, outside its pitch black. The street lights shine down on the wet puddled ground as big fat rain drops dart down from the grey clouds.
Cheryl lifts her arm up and lays Amy’s head on the black cushion laying on the sofa’s arm.
“Why don’t you stay? It’s horrible outside”
"I don’t have clothes for me or Amy babe, thanks for the offer th-“
“Please, Kim” Her hand is holding onto my wrist tightly stopping me in my tracks. I turn to face her and her eyes are full of desperation and a hint of … fear.
“You can borrow something of mine and Amy can use one of my T-shirts” She was desperately trying to persuade me.Why does she want me to stay so much? We’ve seen each other all day it’s not as if I’m never going to see her again is it?
“Chez I’ll call you tomorrow”
She looked at me with disappointment looking deep into my eyes pleading for me not to leave her and of course she’s persuaded me and I’m staying and Amy and Lexi are tucked up in the large bed in the guest room and I’m in Cheryl’s clothes, in her room. My blonde curls tumbling down my neck and back. I’m wearing a long black T-shirt with the word ‘DOPE’ scrolled across the chest in bold white writing. Cheryl’s wavy hair is pulled into a ponytail and she’s also wearing a T-shirt, It was too big for her much too big, it was blue and I’m sure it was a man’s. I’m guessing it was Ashley’s because when I mentioned him earlier I could tell she isn’t over him, I could tell she hated thinking about how he’s no longer here, in this house with his dark muscular arm wrapped around her small fragile body in their warm kingside bed. I could tell she missed him.
Her room was like a show room. Her huge bed was covered in cream Egyptian cotton sheets and had coffee coloured cushions placed artistically against the pillows but they are now in a heap on her coffee carpeted floor where she had threw them off in order for her to slip into her comfy bed. The wooden coffee table next to her side of the bed had a photo of her and Ashley on it surrounded by a mirrored frame with the word “Love” wrote in pink fancy script.He was dressed in a shiny suit, his white shirt buttoned to the top and a smile plastered on his face. Her hand was in his her wedding right glistened under the light and he was holding her closely by her waist. She looked beautiful and …happy and here she is now on her own, living in a house far far too big for her pleading for me to stay the night just so she’s not on her own.
She’s laying in her bed her pillows propped up against the head board positioned behind her back and she’s rolling a imperfect unlit cigarette between her slender fingers.
“So you still have this filthy habit?” I sit on her bed next to her and pull it from between her fingers.
“You smoked too” She raised her eyebrows looking at me.
“Only with you” I throw it off the bed making her pull this ‘shocked’ face. She smiled and shuffled closer to me.
“Yeah,we used to have fun didn’t we ”
I nod and sweep a long bit of her lose hair from her face, tucking it being her ear.
She sat up and put her hand on my knee
“I’m so glad you’re back” She said softly looking at my face. I feel her taking in every detail so she can hold it in her memory forever in case we again drift apart. I pull her into a hug and hold her little body in my arms.
"Are you going to tell me what happened with Ashley?” she pulled away and edged further away from me.I shouldn’t have asked but I need to know,I want to know.
“We um… he.. I”
“It’s ok Cheryl, just tell me” I reach for her hand in an attempt at making her feel more comfortable but it pushed her over the edge. Tears began streaming down her cheeks leaving little rivers of black from her eye makeup. Seeing her cry creates a knot in the pit of my stomach and a lump in my throat. She’s pulled her knees to her chest and she has her head buried in her arms sobbing away. I pull her to me holding her frail little body in my arms. I feel her bones poking through her skin digging into my body she’s painfully thin, thinner than I ever remembered her.
“it’s ok babe, Its ok” I hush into her hair as she’s holding onto the t-shirt I’m wearing pulling at it slightly turning her knuckles a pale pale white. She turns her head into my body pulling me just a inch closer.
“He said he loved me” Her voice was choked from the tears and the words trembled as they left her lips. I rest my chin on her head running my hand over her cheek wiping away the tears swimming down her face.
“He hit me Kim but he said he loved me… and I believed him and you warned me but I didn’t listen” Anger filled my body, I felt sick to my stomach. She’s laying in my arms sobbing her heart out confining in me while she’s wearing his fucking T-shirt next to a fucking picture of him. I wanted to grab her and shake her, tell her this isn’t right but I don’t. I just sit their holding her, comforting her as she’s in hysterics and there’s nothing I can do to make her forget the dark twisted memories she has, what she clings onto just in case she happens to wake up one morning and forgets about him completely.
