Good Grief.

2.Jesus Was Black, The Devil Was Donald Trump!

The pleasure is doubled when one lives with another who shares the same books. ~ Katharine Mansfield.

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CHAPTER TWO

Now now, you can say I'm overreacting but seriously, this is a murder scene waiting to be discovered! Casualties: 10 unicorns, 8 fairies, 9 princesses, 6 barbie dolls. Someone call 911...quick!!! More victims losing life, need an ambulance, scratch that, need many ambulances!

Seeing as we are at the subject at hand, who came up with the word ambulance, I mean just hear it, ambulance, even worse in plural, ambulances, and have you tried reading it phonetically! I swear Oxford need to chill. Yeah yeah, I know it's not Oxford but I need someone to blame. Well, back to the murder scene. Pronto!

Reality check! Done! Still at murder scene!

1...I start breathing in and out to calm myself down, 2...breathing out, 3...still thinking about calming down, 4...breathing out, 5...blinking, 6...breathing in, 7...okay this ain't gonna fucking work out, movies are a load of bull. 

Second reality check, just to make sure! Still at murder scene!

Third reality check! Still at murder scene! Okay now I seriously need an ambulance, for myself, screw the weird name and the casualties! Ambulance to be driven straight to noe valley, patient needs to be buried in dignity.

I think I'm going blind, or colour blind, or both! Who cares! But I'm really hoping it's colour blind and all the shit here is actually black, grey and white.

A whole half of the room is covered in pink.

PINK!!!!!

PINK!!!!

PINK!!!

PINK!!

PINK!

Pink bed cover, pink sheets, pink pillow case, pink banners on the wall, pink slippers, pink headphones on the bed, pink glittery objects, pink! Pink! Pink! Someone kill me already, yes go ahead, get the grenade, I'll hold the pin, you hold the ball, a kilometre away.

Just so we on the same page, it's not like I have something against the colour, I have a lot of things against it! Hell, it's not that I dislike the colour pink, it's not like I hate it to the core of my existence, I don't hate the colour pink, I swear...I hate it!!! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I detest it! I loathe it! I all-synonyms-of-hate-it! And worse it's hot pink! Gorge out my eyes. I think I might have literally crossed dimensions to City Of Pink, The Mortal Instruments.

Jesus Christ of Nazareth all covered in bubble wrap! Why me?

I've quoted Bible stuff so much today, I think big guy's finally calling me and today I will allow myself to be taken, gracefully, from this torment. Preferably in a chariot of fire my Lord, coz have you seen me? I'm still smoking.

Now back to the serial killer who could cause so many multiple deaths in the span of a fifteen minute supper break. Or rather thirteen minutes and twenty one seconds, who's counting?!

"Hey I'm Cheryl. Nice to meet you, you must be my roommate, oh my it's gonna be so awesome living with you, considering you're good to look at, and don't get me started on those boots, you've got to tell me where you bought them, I like your fashion sense, woah, did those hurt??" She says touching my eyebrow and nose piercings, "They surely got to have hurt, you're tall...you'd totally make it to Victoria secrets with that stature, I absolutely love your hair, all black, long and wavy, with the purple and blue in it it's definitely a bold statement and wow, you've got green eyes? Noooo, I'm so jealous right now. I love your skin tone, totally matches with your choice of makeup, do you do it yourself?! I swear I can't bring myself to do my make up so flawlessly. It's like you walked out straight of a fashion magazine. Or are you a part time model? Dolce and Gabbana? No? Givenchy? No? Victoria secrets? Coz they're so many beautiful secrets hidden all over you. Ha! I surely got myself with that one..." She laughs a little at her bad joke before going on, "...oh my, you are to die for, you look so perfect standing there..." She goes on in a sing song voice at the end, clearly a 5 seconds of summer fan!