Troll Academy

Troll:101

"The layman would tell you a troll is a person with no life who sows discord on the internet to get jolly-off-his-rockers. But you know, a troll is much more than that... so much more! It takes skill to be a true troll. Any retard can pick up a laptop and spam 'you suck' on someone's comments. That's not a troll; just a fool with no life. Trolling is an artform passed down since ancient times and requires training and skills to truly master." - Excerpt from Trolling for Beginners.

Principal B.S watched the  kid leave his office, escorted by his secretary: Miss Emerald. He pulled out the kid's resume and looked over it one more time. "Miyamoto Haru... Seems we've caught a big one."

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Haru followed closely behind Emerald, trying to ignore how her bodice hugged her curves tighter than a small nylon wrapped around a large soccer ball. He listened as she gave her lecture.

"...Troll Academy is a highly prestigious school for the underworld. Several future trolls are cultured and raised here to be marvelous trolls in the future. If you graduate successfully, there will be thousands of lucrative job offers from various multi-million companies, organisations or even governments."

She led him out of the Administrative Building, and he paused to shield his eyes from the glaring sun. The buildings of the Academy were finished with beautiful stones which captured the sun's rays and changed colors depending on their intensity.

Emerald continued her lecture as she guided him along a path, meandering through the buildings. "Troll academy uses a compulsory campus system, so all students live in the compund until they graduate, or leave on assignments and missions. The principal has decided you will join the Watty goblins, but before we go there, I will show you some other goblins who aspire to be Trolls.."

Haru adjusted his bag on his shoulder as they entered into a large building several floors high. They took the elevator to the fifth floor where she once again resumed her speech.

"Classes will be held in the Learning Caves from dawn till dusk, after which you will return to your Cove and await the next morning," She said and opened a door to a hallway.

Several doors were lined up on the walls with various graffiti painted or drawn on them. The walls themselves were surprisingly bare considering the amount of graffiti on the doors. Emerald opened one of the doors and Haru peered inside.

"You mad bro?!" A guy said into his headset. A screen was projected onto one of the few areas on the wall that was not vandalized. He was supposed to be playing a soccer game, but he kept pausing and laughing at the stream of profanities from his victim. Across the room another guy kept shooting from the half line and scoring perfectly.

"These are the soccer goblins. They take advantage of bugs in soccer games to wreck terror on those unlucky enough to be paired with them," Emerald said as she shut the door and opened another one.

This time a group of people were hunched around their laptops , typing and clicking away. From where he was, Haru could clearly hear the cries of their victims on the other end.

"These are the MMORPG gobs. They spam newbs, P.K, derail the game currency, hoard mining and crafts sports.. among others.. A graduate from this class was the one who pulled off the legendary swindle in StarQuest a few years back."

She moved on and opened several doors, introducing him to several different types of trollls, each well versed in their respective fields..

Finally, she stopped in front of a final door that had a huge 'W' painted on it. She sighed, as if preparing herself for the worst and opened the door.