Adopting Pride | Rhett & Link

Melanie's Falling

The next day, I received a letter from Melanie. The letter was much longer then any other that I had received. But it was darker. The pencil lead smudged over the paper as if she had written it quickly, too quickly. As if she cared nothing about the appearance of the page, which she probably hadn't. 

Precious,

I got your letter today. I'm happy to hear about all the fun things you're getting to experience. I'm happy that Rhett is good to you, and I'm happy that you've made friends and you didn't let anyone tear you down when you joined that new school. I'm glad. I'm proud. I hope your Halloween party was full of memories, and I hope your dad and his crush finally tie some kind of knot.

The orphanage has been getting a few extra kids each day. We're growing. And I don't like it. Watching the new kids come in, sadness and fear, anxiety covering their sad, pathetic faces. Walking into this place seems like walking to the end of their days, to them. 

And maybe that's how I felt. Maybe. I'm starting to forget the day that I was put in here. It's been so long. So long without the sheer freedom of the world outside this place. I barely remember what it's like.

I'm grateful that you write me these letters, because it reminds me of those things I haven't experienced in a while.

My nightmares have rested this week. Less and less harsh. I've gotten more sleep this week than I've gotten since I've been in here. But they still happen and I'm still thinking about it. It's constantly there, yelling in the back of my mind. But I'm coping.

Hannah lost it a few days ago and tried to kill herself in the bathroom. She locked herself in and ran the bath. I don't know what she was thinking. I guess she thought she'd drown herself. Fill her lungs up with the water. But she failed.

She's not in our room anymore.

I still don't talk to anyone. Occasionally, Sara and Heather try to get me to speak, but I turn over in bed and pretend I'm asleep. And writing has gotten a lot harder. They watch me. They watch me as if they expect me to blow at any moment. 

But if I blow, I'll explode alone. Away from these kids and these people who think they know how I feel. Away from this place I'm supposed to call home. Away. Alone.

The food is also getting better. Surprisingly. There are at least two nights of the week when I eat. But that's about it. It's a nice routine. 

Other than that, I guess there is nothing left for me to say. I'm still hurting but this week has been less painful. 

Thanks for writing me back. It's nice to have a friend. 

-Melanie xoxo

I read the letter on the porch this time. Knowing I'd be a mess, but not caring. Rhett and Link sat off to the side, talking about the party and Rhett's job hunt.  They did that thing where they stopped talking for moments at a time and just starred into each others eyes. They were so in love, but they did nothing about it.

I folded the letter back and wiped the tears crawling down my face. It was getting harder and harder to read Mel's letters. Even though she'd had a better week, I still knew she was just exaggerating the truth. She was hurting. Badly.

"Hey Pride," I heard in the distance, breaking me from my thoughts. Looking up, Rhett and Link were starring at me. Now they were right before me, concerned expressions on their faces.

"You okay, sweetheart?" Rhett asked, pushing hair out of my eyes. I smiled the best I could, "Oh yeah. It's just Melanie. I don't know. It's okay. Really."

Link looked me over and frowned, "Is she okay?"

I nodded, "For now."

Rhett exchanged a glance with Link, then looked back at me, "It's okay. She's just having a hard time. I'm sure she'll bounce back."

I knew Rhett was just trying to make me feel better, but I knew deep down that he didn't agree with his own statement. He knew kids that had lives like Melanie's were a shoo-in for suicidal minds. 

"Do you want me to call again?" he asked, patting my shoulder. I wiped my face dry, mumbling a "no". 

"It won't make any difference."

I stood, giving them both a hug. Then I made my way to my room to write Melanie back. 

------

Kind of a short chapter, but lots of meaning.

I hope you all are well! Thank you for reading!

You're beautiful!

Always remember to be your mythical best!

- Robin xoxo