DO NOT READ THIS

STILL SHOULDN'T READ THIS

CLA: Awsome. Awsome. I am awsome. Awsomer than awesome. No one is as awsome as I am. I eat un-awsome people for breakfast. Breakfast. Did I have anything to eat this morning? No, wait, focus. Awsome. 

ASH: YOU'RE BACK! Oh my god I've been looking all over. And yes, you did eat. About 6 waffels, some of which were MINE, by the way! But nevermind. Where were you?!

CLA: Well, first I went and let Sherlock out of that dark corner I was keeping him in-

ASH: So he was there the whole time? While I was stuck with you? THAT TRAITOR! Continue.

CLA: He was not in a dark corner in this room! After letting him out and returning him to John, I was really bored. So I looked at the secret video cameras that shows you, stuck in that room. After that, only about an hour or two ago, I got a snack - which was really good - and by the way, it was your chocolate cake - then, I watched the epic, amazing, but not as awsome as me, movie Cars. 

ASH: Ok, 1: YAY! Sherlock has been returned to John! There is hope for this ship yet! 2. Of course you were bored... 3. What secret video cameras?!!!! 4. You already ate the rest of the cake, Cla! We had a deal- that was MY peice!!! 5. And that explains why you were quoting a children's movie. 

CLA: To answer all of these things you said, starting at number three, *clears throat* What? There are no video cameras! To answer four, it just looked soooo good! And plus, I didn't know if you would ever make it out of my trap of a room. And five, that movie is for all ages, I'll have you know! Besides, that movie was awesome! ... But with the "e," not without. It's not THAT awsome. 

ASH: I will never understand your obsession with mis-spelling a word that was perfectly fine before you came around and infected it with your madness. 

CLA: I'll have you know that this word is fully rejistered in the Urban dictionary - many times - though not all of them correct, of course. 

ASH: Not all have minds as great as you, young skywalker. 

CLA: You are a mouse.

ASH: I was hoping for something a little more original. Pick up your sword.

CLA: Well, I would continue this, but I'm pretty sure that Narnia has copyrights on this transcript. 

ASH: Sadly. And I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to handle a copyright war very well at all. I have nightmares about them. So, disclaimer, we own nothing but the crazyness of our minds and our unique definition of "awsome."

CLA: That's why you're the lover and I'm the fighter.

ASH: Hey-Hey-Hey! Play nice, Cla! 

CLA: Well we all know it's true, I mean, really, it's not as if you could do violence with a clear conscience afterwards. 

ASH: I so could. As John Lyly once said, "All is fair in love and war."

CLA: How did that even make sense in the context? 

ASH: It just does. 

CLA: Well then, your honor, may I call a witness to the stand to prove the point that it does not fit? 

GUEST SPEAKER #3: The Judge: Permission granted.

CLA: I call forth John Lyly and Sherlock Holmes to the stand!

ASH: NO! NOT SHERLOCK! Remember what happened last time? 

CLA: So? I need him as a witness.

GUEST SPEAKER #4: John Lyly: Woah, where am I?

ASH: Heaven, I hope. You died 15 years ago. 

John Lyly: I was in Heaven, this is definitely not Heaven!

CLA: John Lyly, I have called you to court to bear witness to the fact that your phrase, "all is fair in love and war," was used in incorrect context in the sentence after "Well we all know it's true, I mean, really, it's not as if you could do violence with a clear conscience afterwards. "

John Lyly: Well of course not! That was indeed used in an incorrect phrase!

ASH: You're a poet! You of all people should understand that I am granted a poetic lisence in my use of words or, in this case, phrases!

John Lyly: Your point is invalid for you did not use my phrase in a poetic way what-so-ever. 

CLA: See, your honor? Do I even need to call up a second witness?

The Judge: *shakes head in exasperation* You people don't pay me enough for this...court adjourned. *Hits hammer thing*  

John Lyly: *nods head*  

ASH: *shakes head* What's dead should stay dead. *leaves room that at some point became courtroom*  

The Judge: Well I must get back to the REAL court. *leaves room that is slowly becoming not-courtroom anymore.*  

CLA: Well, I guess it's just you and me now, Jonny.  

John Lyly: *runs away screaming*

CLA: Am I really that bad?   

GUEST SPEAKER #1 RETURNS: SHERLOCK HOLMES: I was called as a witness- *sees it's just Claudia and walks right back out* 

CLA: Well I guess it's just me and my imagination... Oh, the things I could do, the things I could do...  

END CHAPTER