I Found Love- In Hell

11. Conflicting Emotions

The next three hours are silent as we make our way from the motel and continue on our journey westward. Julian had taken my keys without asking if he could drive, and I'd been too tired to argue. So, I sit in  the passenger seat and stare out the window. Trees flash by in a blur of green and brown.

Sadly, not having anything in particular to focus my attention on, like driving, my mind is free to wander. Of course, I soon find myself peeking at Julian from under my bangs. He's staring straight ahead, one hand on the wheel, the other running through his black hair. I notice it's gotten long- his bangs now go to just below his eyes. His mesmerizing grey eyes.

I frown slightly and turn my attention back to the landscape outside. He hadn't said he loved me. In fact, he'd avoided the question. I'd asked him, "Do you love me?" The look in his eyes had been one of conflict. Was he having the same problem as I'd been having, or was he thinking of a way to avoid my question?

Why did I even care? I shouldn't. Yes, I should. No, I shouldn't! I sigh and rest my head on the warm window. I do. I care a lot- a lot more than I should.

You sound like Tom, I think to myself and I chuckle darkly.

I close my eyes and the first thing I see is Julian's face. He's laughing, and smiling, his eyes sparkling. He really was, well, good looking. No wonder all the girls at camp were after him. All of a sudden, I feel a pang of jealousy shoot through my chest. Then, I blurt out something I didn't mean to say.

"Have you ever had sex?"

My eyes get wide and I calmp my hands overtop my mouth. I can feel heat rising in my cheeks as a cherry red blush creeps its way up my face. Did I seriously just say that?!

At first, Julian doesn't answer, and I slowly relax. He hadn't heard me. Maybe I hadn't said the question out loud. Then, Julian lets out a sigh and pulls the car over to the side of the road. He puts the emergency lights on and leans back in the seat. He runs a hand through his hair before turning to look out the window.

"Yeah," he says after a few moments of silence. "I have."

For some reason, I'm not shocked. I'm extremely...jealous maybe...but I push that feeling away and focus on the fact that I'm not shocked.

"What was her name?"

He chuckles darkly at my question and closes his eyes.

"There was more than one."

"Oh,"

I look down at my hands in my lap and bite my lower lip.

"None of them meant anything to me though," I can feel Julian's gaze burning into my cheek as he wills me to look at him. But, I refuse, and continue to stare at my hands. "What about you?"

"Unlock the car," I say, quietly.

"What?"

"Unlock. The. Car." I repeat.

"Why?"

"Damnit, Julian, unlock the car!" I look up at him with wet hot tears stinging my eyes. He stares back and me, his eyes wide, and like a zombie he moves his hand to the button that unlocks the doors. The moment I hear the click! of the doors unlocking I unbuckle my seatbelt and throw the door open.

"Zoe-"

I slam the door shut, cutting him off, and start walking back towards where we came from. I hear the car door slam and Julian's footsteps catching up to me.

"Zoe-"

"Don't waste your breath. I don't mean anything to you, anyway."

Julain reaches out and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"You're not one of them, you're-"

I smack his hand away and sneer when it falls limply at his side.

"How many of them did you say that to?"

"I-"

"Don't bother. I don't want to hear anymore of your lies." I start to walk away. "Oh, and, you don't owe me anymore favors."

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*hey guys :D sorry it took so long to upload...haha i've been really busy :P well my friend erin helped me with this (sorta lol a good biology class well spent <3) and with the idea for the next few chapters sooooooo yeah :D wacha guys think of this chapter? vote and comment <3