Yes, it's that horrid time again. And yes I know this is probably not how a public journal is supposed to go, being a rookie and all, but damn it I started this fucking shit so this is gonna happen. And it's gonna go however the FUCK I want it to go!
So uh hello, welcome again. So far I have spent this morning watching the shadiest, angriest, diva/divo celebrity moments.
"I'll fuck you 'til you love me, faggot!"-Mike Tyson
Now I don't understand what it's like being a celebrity. I'm not hounded by paparazzi or unruly fans. I don't travel to foreign countries to promote my new line of moth eaten clothing, or sell perfume that smells like blood and semen. I wouldn't be able to handle the pressure that these people go through. I am as spineless as they come, folks. KY Jelly. Also, I can see why these celebs wear sunglasses, the flash from those paparazzi cams are literally brighter than America's future.
"I can't see! There are cars there, motherfuckers!" -Tobey Maguire
Quentin Tarantino can't even go to a fucking Starbucks 'cause some asshole wants to fuck with him. Bitch, it is snowing! His coffee's getting cold as tits, leave him alone so he can start working on his next pantydropping screenplay and enjoy his delicious-ass coffee in peace. And you can't call me a hypocrite because on the rare chance that I ever encounter a celebrity 'IRL', I will never approach them. I wouldn't get all up in their eyebrows for pictures and even if I really wanted it enough to try, I'd come off strange and whispery. And only then would they take the fucking picture. "Anything for the disabled," they would say. I'm not hating on people with disabilities either, I have two siblings that are disabled. My little sister works her disability to her advantage, manipulating corn men and icecream men everywhere, but they've caught on to her personality now so they're not losing money anymore. But whatever!
Moving on!
Like I said, I don't know what it's like to be famous. Nobody wants to sell my mustache hair on ebay. The only person who twists my tits about who I'm dating is my mother. I don't own my own hideous clothing line. I don't sell perfume that smells like ass. I am not popular. My circle of friends is small and fucking beautiful. And I like it that way.
So, leave me a comment, I like to read them with my little tiger puppet, fuckmerightinthepussy420. But you can call him Jerome.
xoxo
