Love. Yes, love. I'm not even gonna joke around about this or try to make light of a tough subject for many.
(LOL)
Just kidding.
No, seriously. I'm in one of my weird moods right now. The night time used to be my favorite time of all. A lot of shit got done. I wrote, eargasmed, and ish like that but... it's different. I feel myself slipping. Fading away into #foreveraloneness and I don't know what to do. I'm not good at anything. I'm lazy. I don't know anything about the world and it's problems. All I know are my own, but I understand that's not enough.
Do you ever feel stuck?
I lay in bed sometimes and cry because I'm this whiny bitch with no clear direction or purpose. I have all these things I can use to better myself, yet I choose to wallow. My misery is my own doing.
I want to help myself. I want to do all these things and I can. But I don't. I practically have Procrastination's little whore tattooed on my ass. "I'll do it tomorrow." "I'll do it when I can." "It's too late now no point in doing it." Excuses. Fucking excuses.
I have to try to climb out of this hole I put myself in. I don't know if I can do it because I'm still here. Nearly 21 years old and still living with my mother. No job. No license. I am nothing. Just a whiny little nothing.
God, I need to do something before I lose myself completely.
Song for mood: Outside - Staind
