Mysterious Messages

Good Bye |RFA x Reader|

⚠️🚨WARNING: HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST!!! This chapter may be triggering, please don't read if you are at risk!!🚨⚠️

Y/n's P.O.V

I frowned as I stared at my phone, I was on the app again... yet no one seemed to notice me at all.

Why?

Rika turned out to be alive, she had V tell everyone she was dead because she wanted to take time to get over her illness. But now she's back and everyone is all over her.

At first I understood where everyone was coming from, I mean, their friend that they thought was dead is suddenly alive and well. I gave them the time they needed to catch up and talk.

Whenever they were on the chatroom and ignored me I thought: "they're just excited... they didn't forget about me."

I understood the first couple of days, then the first week, then the next couple of months.... but that time slowly turned into two years.

It was up to the point where when I entered a chatroom, no one was there but the second Rika would enter everyone was suddenly available.

It wasn't just the chatrooms either... no one replied to my private messages... or answered my calls. They pretended like I didn't exist.

Maybe I never did exist to them... maybe in their eyes I was "Rika". Or Rika's replacement.

The sad part was that the RFA were my friends. Ever since the whole incident I've been spending more time with them then anyone else. So my relationship with my work friends and old friends deteriorated.

I had no one.

I could feel myself fall deeper and deeper into depression. I was invisible to everyone... even Luciel would ignore me. I was just another face at their party that would be forgotten.

Eventually I stopped logging into the app. I had hoped that someone would notice and call me. But there was nothing. I stared at a blank screen all day... waiting for someone to notice my absence.

I couldn't sleep anymore.

I would either eat nothing or eat way too much.

Nothing gave me happiness anymore.

At first I felt sad, but then that sadness turned to anger. I felt so betrayed, used. They had me pick up the broken pieces in their lives, but left me alone. They had me join the RFA so they could start hosting their parties again. They had me move into Rika's apartment. They had me quit my job to host the party.

At first I thought whether they would care if I went missing or if I died. Would they notice? Would they even care?

That's when my depression reached its worst. I went on a chatroom, by myself and said good-bye to everyone. The next minute I shoved a handful of pills in my mouth and swallowed.

I woke up the next morning with a horrible headache. My head was throbbing. I quickly ran into the bathroom and expelled all the pills I had swallowed the night before.

That's when I realized: I almost died... I almost took my own life.

I opened the chatroom and laughed, a cold and bitter laugh.