Chasing Reality

12

The next couple days were slow, and very lonely. I never realized how quiet this place is without Reid being so chatty.

Without the hello In the morning or small talk in the small talk in the coffee smells.

He hasn't spoke one word to me that wasn't work related. It's gotten me down more than I though but I want to believe that's what best.

I'm not ready for a relationship and that's all he wants.

"Good morning." I say when I walk into work a little late. Everyone replies but him.

I sit at my desk and try to find more stuff to help with. We haven't had a case since the one in Syracuse. JJ has a couple days to look through the piles of cases on her desk.

Spencer sighs before getting up from his desk and heading into the coffee room. I get up and hurry after him, there is anther agent in there. Luckily she leaves shortly after we enter.

"Spence." I say quietly

He glances back at me and then back to his coffee.

"Spencer please." I step closer to him.

He turns around, it's only been a couple days since we've interacted but he looks different.

The dark circles under his eyes are more dark than mine. He looks like he hasn't shaved in a couple days which I've learned is unusual.

"What?" He asks sharply

"Why are you so mad at me?" I ask. I understand that I may have hurt his feelings but he is really mad.

"Why am I..? You want to know why I'm mad? You are the one that convinced me that I was just as capable of being in a relationship as anyone else. You invited me over and made me feel like I never had before. You made me like you, like REALLY like you. " He looks confused. "Then all the sudden you changed. You didn't even try to talk to me about it. You just closed me off and made me feel unimportant."

His face is enough to break my heart. I hurt him.

"I opened up to you." He says looking down, his voice barely a whisper.

I feel terrible. I've been so selfish, only looking out for my own emotions and not thinking how this could affect Spencer. He probably thinks this is more about him than it really is.

"I really like you too, Spencer. That's what scares me. Usually I'm so closed off to people that it takes months for them to figure out the stuff I felt comfortable telling you. It's like you didn't even have to try and I found myself missing you. Even if you were gone for 5 minutes." I laugh lightly.

It's hard for me to admit a lot of this stuff but I feel like I owe it to him.

He bites his lip but doesn't smile. I step towards him, I know he would step back if he wasn't already against the counter. I take step after step until I'm stood in front of him.

"You made me feel like I was good for something other than my brain. Usually that's all people think I'm good for." He whispers.

My hand hesitantly reaches up and pushes back the hair in his face. His eyes start to flutter closed but instead widen as someone else enters the room.