"How'd the walk go?" Cliff asked when we got back home.
"Oh just splendid. Hannah and I had a wonderful conversation didn't we love?" Malcolm asked.
"Oh yeah it was terrific." Angus made a sort of noise and rolled his eyes.
"What's your problem?" Cliff asked.
"Nothing nothing."
"Did you hear the news?"
"What news?"
"The public's been going off about Bon's death and saying he did it on purpose."
"What?"
"Like he had some problem he couldn't deal with so he did away with himself." I looked at Angus who seemed to get mad upon hearing that. The rest of the band was reading a newspaper about it getting worked up.
"That's bullshit, they write up these stories like they think they know us or why we do what we do," Malcolm said.
"Journalist opportunity mate," Brian said. "All of it, shit." Angus went down to the laundry room to play his guitar.
"There he goes," said Phil.
"This could be part of his stress ya' know. I mean, Bon's passin' and all," Cliff suggested.
"He's gonna have my head for it, but I'll ask him tomorrow," Malcolm said.
It was Sunday, January 4th 1981. Malcolm was true to his word when he said he'd talk to Angus. And as usual, Angus wouldn't budge. They were in the laundry room not exactly yelling, but definitely not whispering. "Won't any of you just drop it?" Angus said. "Bloody hell, not one day of peace in this damn house."
"If you'll tell me I'll drop it."
"There's nothing to tell Mal. Get out."
"It's my laundry room too. Look, Bon left us all on our heads. It's okay to be sad about it."
"I'm over it!"
"That's what you said about Hannah too." Angus was silent a moment.
"Leave her out of this."
"Okay, okay. Let's see what she has to say about this."
"No, Mal-"
"No, no. I want her opinion." Malcolm left the room to go get the girl.
"Hannah? Come on I need to see you," Malcolm called me over. I put down the book I was reading to keep myself busy while those two killed each other.
"What's going on?"
"We need your opinion about Angus and such."
"Why?"
"He needs to hear what you have to say. He hasn't taken Bon's death lightly. None of us have you know, but he won't admit it." Angus was standing at the doorway watching us. It looked like he was about to leave. "Uh-uh, get back in there," Malcolm ordered. "Now-" We stepped inside and he closed the door after us. "let's talk."
"Angus I feel horrible seeing you this upset. I don't know what or how you're feeling or even why. But we'll never help you unless you tell us," I told him sternly.
"You wouldn't help me," Angus accused.
"Of course we would, we all would."
"I was talking about you," he said pointing a finger at me. "You've done everything but help."
"That's all I ever wanted to do!"
"Sure."
"Then tell me how I can help, or at least tell us what's wrong."
"You're what's wrong! Ever since you came back there's been nothing but problems! Arguing, stress, you've been a nuisance to all of us!" Angus yelled. I'd never seen him this mad before, especially not at me.
"Angus..." Malcolm warned.
"What Mal, you know it's true! All this trouble and then she'll leave us again for another twenty years!"
"You think I left on purpose? You think I wanted to leave, especially the way I did? I want to help you before that happens again, but you're too stubborn to let anyone!"
"Whatever happened to not yelling at me?"
"Whatever happened to talking to people Angus? Or letting friends and family know how you feel? I wouldn't yell if you'd just talk!"
"There's nothing to talk about!"
"You keep saying that but we know it's not true! There's something wrong, you've nearly killed yourself over whatever it is! You nearly died Angus! Don't tell me, or Malcolm, or anyone there's nothing to talk about!"
"She's right Ang, we're not stupid," Malcolm said much calmer. "We care about you."
"Hannah doesn't care! If she cared she'd leave me alone about it!"
"I have been!" I yelled back. "I've been letting it go way too long. If I didn't care, you think I'd have saved your life?"
"You didn't save Bon's!"
"How would I have saved him?"
"You can time travel but you can't save people? Or tell us what would happen so we could have done something?"
"It doesn't work that way."
"Damn right it doesn't. Let Bon drink himself to death and leave. Yeah, you sure care."
"She came back Angus, what are you so upset about?" Malcolm asked.
"That's exactly why I'm upset! You never should have come back in the first place!"
"It wasn't my fault! And oh, I don't know, maybe I wanted to see you again. Maybe I missed you for Heaven's sake."
"Well Heaven forbid you ever come back." Angus turned to leave but Malcolm grabbed him and pulled him back. "Let go jackass!"
"Not until we settle this!" he yelled back. "Besides, you're being the jackass."
"Malcolm's right, Angus," I said getting tired of his behavior. No, not getting. Was.
"Should have left me to die then. Why didn't you?"
"Because I already lost Bon!" I shouted stepping right up to him. His blue eyes were angry but willing to listen. "I didn't want to lose you too. You think you're the only one who's suffered a loss and you're not. He was my friend too. I knew I couldn't stop it, and you couldn't stop it either. I didn't want any of you to go through the years waiting for the inevitable and I certainly didn't want to scare Bon so I kept my mouth shut. Believe me when I say this Ang. I want him back just as much as the next guy. I'm sorry, but I couldn't let my best friend die with him." The anger was gone. My eyes were welling up and my voice had cracked. I turned to leave through the side door since the door to the house was blocked. But I didn't get very far when a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders and spun me around. And I certainly didn't expect a pair of lips to land on my own.
His hands let go of my shoulders and held my face instead. This kiss reminded me of the first time, not that horrible second time. Every time I thought he would pull away he stepped closer. He must have inhaled before hand 'cause he was not running out of air. After several more seconds he let me go and just stared at me. That aching confession was gone, but he didn't look excited about it. His thumb brushed over my cheek. Without a word he left the laundry room and Malcolm didn't stop him this time.
"Well," Malcolm said. "How 'bout that."
