Wednesday, January 7th. I had this sad feeling since the night before and I still had it this morning. I didn't tell anyone figuring it was nothing but I couldn't shake it. Almost as if I was gonna leave soon.
Oh crap.
I didn't talk much to anyone that day. They must have figured something was up, and eventually Ellen kindly asked me while we started taking the Christmas tree down. "I've noticed your lack of energy today Hannah...everything okay?"
"W-well," I stuttered. I didn't want to disappoint anyone, but I probably should have given them a warning so we could say a proper goodbye. But what if it meant nothing? The feeling I mean. I didn't feel it last time I was here, then again I didn't really have a chance to. "I'm not sure."
"Not sure? You sick again?" Malcolm asked. "I heard about that by the way, that sucks."
"No, not really. Just got this feeling."
"When did it start?" Phil asked.
"Last night..."
"Why didn't you say something? Does no one talk in this house?" Malcolm asked.
"I thought it would go away, I don't know..."
"You should say if anything's botherin' you, can't help if we don't know," Angus said with that freaking cheeky smile of his.
"Very funny," I said making a face.
"He's right ya' know, better tell somebody," Malcolm agreed. I sighed.
"I have this feeling that a certain something is gonna happen soon."
"What certain something?"
"...that I'm gonna leave...soon." Everyone in the room looked at me.
"Well," Brian said. "That's not good."
"No it isn't," said Malcolm. He looked at Angus who didn't say anything.
"So what are we gonna do?" asked Cliff.
"We, are going to throw Hannah, a goodbye party," said Linda going to the kitchen.
"That'd be fun," Ellen said.
"We'd have to throw it quick then in case Hannah accidentally takes a nap," Cliff said.
"No, no naps," Angus said kind of joking kind of not.
"Don't worry I won't," I said.
"Good," he said quietly with a shy smile.
"He's right Hannah, no sleeping until we've had our goodbyes and whatever party Linda's throwing," Ellen said putting her arm around me.
"Thank you," I smiled at her. We got the tree down and started getting ready for my goodbye party. What a lovely group of fellows to say goodbye this way. It wasn't a big party but Linda made dinner and desserts and Ellen went to get snacks. Once again, I'm not one to object food. During the whole charade everyone seemed to be having fun, but I felt they were kind of sad to see me go. Angus didn't talk a whole lot, just smiled and gave one word answers.
"Goodnight Hannah," Ellen said giving me a hug. "Come back if you can okay?"
"Don't be afraid to just pop up, or surprise us," Linda said.
"Alright, I'll keep that in mind," I smiled giving them both hugs. Brian came up and gave me a bear hug.
"This is it lass. Course we'll see you again, but for now..."
"Of course," I said hugging him back.
"I've only just met you, but it's been a fun time," Cliff said when I hugged him.
"A couple weeks is all you need."
"Sadly it's not always enough." Phil was sitting at the table and when I went to hug him he playfully pulled me onto his lap.
"Gonna miss you kid. We need someone like you to put these guys in their place."
"What about you in your place?"
"My place is front row seat at these fellows getting told off," he smiled.
"You can take my job for the time being."
"Alright? You heard the lady, I'm in charge now," Phil said as I got up. I went over to Malcolm who also gave me a bear hug.
"It'll be lonely without you. Like Phil said this place is a zoo. Or would be if we didn't have the right women."
"I'm keeping him under control all the time," Linda told me.
"I don't know Lin, these Young fellas don't give up causin' trouble," I smiled.
"Ain't that the truth," Ellen and Linda said together. Malcolm laughed.
"I'll be looking for you every day on that sidewalk. Or just wait for me by the phone booth. Okay?"
"Sounds like a plan Mal." He smiled and ruffled my hair. Angus came up to me hands in his pockets and a small smile on his face.
"We've had a lot of times together," he said.
"Sure have. This better not be the last." He shook his head. I smiled and pulled him in for a hug nuzzling my head on his shoulder.
"Watch Hannah still be here tomorrow," Phil joked.
"Yeah," Brian laughed. "'I swear guys, I was supposed to leave.'" I watched them and laughed at their silliness. I'd definitely miss that. Angus held me and rubbed my back a little.
"Don't go to sleep yet, wait for me upstairs in your room," he whispered.
