Mandy

Chapter 5

This might hurt, it's not safe, but I know I've gotta make a change. I don't care, if I break, at least I'll be feeling something.
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   Mandy sighed as she sat down next to Caleb on her bed that night.

   Caleb watched her. "I'm really sorry."

   Mandy took off her shoes and threw them across the room, then turned to him. "About what?"

   "Not being here." He replied.

   Mandy went silent. "It wasn't your fault."

   He shook his head. "I wish I would have just asked for a couple days off at least, to be with you. You had to handle everything on your own."

   She felt more tears slide down her cheeks. "I almost was there. We were going to all go, then Ethan needed to sleep, so I offered to stay home with Ami and him."

   "They took forever. I was waiting in the family room for an hour before a car pulled into the drive." Mandy continued. "I was happy, I thought it was them... But it was a police officer, and he informed me about the accident. I nodded, listened, then he left."

   "People from church, friends, neighbors, helped me plan the funeral. I don't remember anything until I got home that night, and the kids were asleep in their room. I walked into my room, then I ran back out. I didn't really come to terms with what had happened until then." She finished, then burst into sobs.

   Caleb put his arm around her.

   "I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just going through the motions now, and I don't want to keep doing this." She sobbed.

Caleb nodded. "What do you want to do?" He asked.

Mandy shook her head. "I don't know. I want to get out of this place. This house, this town, away from these people constantly asking how I feel and if I'm alright."

"I thought about being a personal trainer." She commented.

"You could do that." Caleb said gently.

"I don't think I want to. I just don't know what I do want to do." Mandy explained.

   "Do you remember...after the wedding?" Caleb asked carefully.

   She frowned, then looked at her hands. "I'd...forgotten about that."

   It was Caleb's turn to frown. "Why?" He asked.

   Mandy shrugged. "We got busy." She answered vaguely.

   "Well...what about now?"

   She looked at him. "She isn't here. I can't open and run and inn on my own."

   Caleb put his hands on her shoulders. "You wouldn't be alone. I'll be there to help, and Amilee and Ethan would love it."

   Mandy wasn't convinced. "I..."

   He smiled. "Just think on it for a couple weeks Mandy. No one said you have to make a decision soon."