I'd Live For You, If Only I Could (Completed)

Ten

Some time after getting sick, I fall asleep on Scott's lap again. I wake up again on the couch to the sound of hushed whispers somewhere to my side, but I don't open my eyes. Kirstie and Scott are talking, and it sounds like one of them is crying. I can't tell which.

"He was right, he is getting worse." Scott says, followed by a sniffle. I still can't tell which of them it belongs to.

"No, he's going to get better." Another sniffle.

"He told me himself that it's not very likely." Scott sounds dejected, and it makes me want to kiss him and never stop, just to reassure him that I am still here, still alive, at least for the moment.

"This is not the time for us to give up on him. Okay? We have to be there for him and keep supporting him, no matter what happens."

"I can't lose him."

"Look, I love him too, okay? But that does not mean that we get to lose it. Me or you. We have to be strong even if it means..." She stops for a second, and I determine that it is Scott that is crying. "Even if it means letting him go."

"I can't do that. You don't understand."

"I don't understand? Why don't I understand? What don't I understand? He's my best friend just as much as he is yours. What's the difference here?" She is starting to raise her voice. "I get that it's hard on you because you two are so close. You're basically inseparable. But he's my best friend too, you know! He's my best friend, too!"

"Stop it, you'll wake him up." Scott whispers harshly. "You're being stupid."

"I'm being stupid?!"

"Yeah, you are!" Now he's yelling too, and I roll over and say with as much energy as I can muster, "Can you two please shut the fuck up? Just for two seconds?" Scott looks over at me, tears staining his cheeks and his eyes bloodshot.

"Sorry. We didn't mean to wake you."

"Yeah, sorry." Kirstie mumbles, staring past Scott at the wall behind him.

"You didn't. I was already awake, but please stop yelling. My head still hurts."

"Of course. Sorry." Scott says.

"Stop apologizing."

"Sorry."

"Scott, what did I literally just say? Stop fucking apologizing." I snap. He opens his mouth to respond. "If you say sorry, you're leaving my house." He shuts his mouth and looks away. I sigh, realizing that I'm being to harsh on my friends, but at the moment, I don't care. I sit up and slowly swing my legs onto the floor.

"What're you doing?" Scott asks, taking half a step toward me.

"Going upstairs." I reply, gripping the arm of the couch for support as I try to stand up. No matter how hard I push on the arm, my legs do not hold me up for more than a few seconds before I fall back down. "Maybe not." I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. Panic starts to make my chest feel tight as I wonder why my legs are suddenly so weak.

"Are you alright?" Scott asks. "You look kinda pale." I keep trying to stand, but no matter how hard I try, it doesn't work. "Here, let me help. Kit, come here." Scott and Kirstie each position themselves under one of my arms and help haul me to my feet.

"There you go."

"W-why can't I stand up?" I ask, voicing my extreme concerns.

"Do you feel okay other than that?" Kirstie says.

"I...sort of."

"Your body is probably weak because it's empty at the moment. Like, seriously empty."

"I noticed." I try to lift my feet at all when we get to the stairs, but even the height of the first step is too much.

"Okay, I'm carrying you." Scott says, taking my full weight. He secures one arm under my legs and the other behind my back. "Do you want anything? Food, water...?"

"Water." I mumble, letting my head fall lazily against his chest.

"Kit, do you mind?"

"Of course not." She runs past us up the stairs and we follow soon after.

"Where to, sir?" Scott asks, kissing my cheek once Kirstie is gone.

"Bedroom, please." I shut my eyes and let the gentle sway of Scott carrying me bring me comfort until we get up to my bedroom, where he sets me carefully on my feet and helps me walk over to my bed before I collapse.

"When will your parents be home?" he asks, sitting down next to me.

"Uh, probably soon." As if on cue, I hear the sound of the front door opening and closing below me and my dad's voice saying, "Hi, Kirstie." I don't hear her respond, but a few seconds later, my mom's footsteps are coming up the stairs. Scott moves away just a little, just enough for her not to question us.

"Hi, honey." she says when she pokes her head in.

"Hi."

"Hi, Scott."

"Hi, Mrs. Grassi."

"Are you feeling up to supper tonight?" she asks, directing her gaze back to me.

"Uh..." I look to Scott, silently asking him to answer for me.

"He's had a pretty rough day. I think he should just sleep."

"Okay." She comes in and kisses my forehead gently. "You're burning up." I nod as much as I can. "Alright, well if you decide that you want anything to eat or anything, just come on down, or let me know or something."

"Okay."

"I'll see you later, baby." She starts out of the room and nearly runs into Kirstie, who is holding a large glass of water in each hand.

"Sorry, Mrs. Grassi." I lean my head against the headboard as a skull-splitting headache graces me with its presence. Kirstie hands me one glass of water and I manage not to drop it.

"It's getting late, you guys should probably go." I say, letting my eyes fall shut while I take a gulp of water.

"It's not that late, is it?" Kirstie asks.

"It's after six." Scott answers.

"Shit, really? I was supposed to be home a half hour ago." I crack my eyes open at the sound of her footsteps coming toward me. "I guess I'm gonna go. Bye, babe." She leans down and hugs me for half a second too long. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? I'll call or something if I can't come over."

"Yeah, sure. Bye." I watch as she leaves before turning my attention to Scott. "Wanna watch Netflix?" I pat the spot next to me and he crams himself next to me on the small bed.

"Sure." He kisses my cheek lightly before getting back up to grab my laptop.

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