Primal Gambit

Chapter 15: Valerie Tells Doerrman

Valerie sat, arms wrapped around her knees, nestled deep within the couch. The shawl was wrapped around her shoulders, cultivating warmth as she looked out the window at the ash that drifted lazily before the cracked window. The apartment wasn't perfect and it wasn't in the safest neighborhood, but it had been home to them for so long that it felt wrong to even search for another place. On the dinged coffee table before her was the manila envelope that Darwin had given her two days prior, containing all the intelligence on Arthur Shuke and the underground sewage system of Marcotte, among other notes and schematics. She waited for the right moment, which she was sure would never flicker like a lightbulb in her head. It was going to have to be forced.

Doerrman did not share her sympathies with the apartment. He felt warmth upon reminiscing about the times they had spent here, but those memories were not about to tether him to the nasty reality of where they lived. He knew where he wanted to end up, he just hadn't yet found it. He wanted to find paradise, which to him could be defined as an area unhindered by human interjection or befoul. A simple man with no family besides the woman he loved, all he truly wanted was a means of escape – a domain to give love and receive it, to hunt and survive off the land, distanced from the harshness of the modern human psyche.

He approached the couch with an arm extended, in his scarred hand he proposed a steaming mug of coffee. Ridley had purchased the rare beans at a bazaar in the remnants of Kazakhstan, waiting until he rotated home to try them. Coffee had become a rarity in the States and as such it was taxed heavily upon being imported. The soldier hid his stash in a duffel bag and it passed inspection. The nutty aroma of the boiling water filtering through the grounds ignited in him a sense of nostalgia, as he recalled his father drinking the tart black brew every morning – before Ridley could even speak.

Valerie sipped from the mug and forced a smile. She was happy, but not about the fact that she was about to ruin the moment. They both sat on either side of the couch, breathing deeply. She looked out the window. He looked at her, trying to remember her. Coming back from a tour was always different. Every single time, Doerrman was not sure if he would return the same person he was when he departed. Valerie always reassured him, even the times where he was sure he had changed because of the things he had seen – the things he had done.

"What do you think of the coffee?" He asked, not sure what to expect.

"It's good. I'm glad you waited to make it." She turned back and smiled.

The physical connection was there, but oftentimes upon his return he had been gone for so long that he would need to re-associate her with all the memories they had shared. Talking after war had proven the most difficult aspect of returning for Ridley Doerrman. He sat there silently, wanting to scream but unable to.

"We should visit your uncle when we have the time, he's been sending emails asking when you'd get back." She mentioned, still looking out the window.

"I'm still under the impression that he doesn't know how to use a computer." Rid smiled before sipping the coffee. Val turned to him and chuckled.

"Either way, we should go and see him. Maybe catch some fish while we're down there. Your fishing pole has been collecting dust since you've been gone." She beamed at him, trying to instill her feigned happiness within him before turning the conversation down a darker path.

"The lake is drying up, has been since even before I left. We'll ask him about it when we go." He put the coffee down; in doing so he noticed the envelope on the table.

"What's this?" He inquired, reaching over and picking up the folder. Valerie didn't bother stopping him when he began to rifle through the contents. She simply sighed and put her coffee on the table as well.

"What is all this?" Ridley quickly glanced at the notes and the blueprints, turning the contents sideways to get a better lay of what he was looking at.

"I was waiting for the right moment to ask for your help but I realized that the moment will never be right. The activists and I need your help." She studied his face, trying to read his confounded expression.

He looked down at his worn hands and then to the schematics again.

"Help with what?" He asked. She breathed deeply before beginning:

"Darwin found out that Marcotte captured a man by the name of Arthur Shuke. They nabbed him out in Clearway, since then he's been prepped and dropped just like the rest of their captives." She stopped to pick up her coffee and take a sip. He was staring directly at her, almost traumatized that she would even ask him to enter another battlefield mere days after his return.

"But the thing is this guy used to be an English professor. He fell on hard times: his family gone, he lost his job and his home. I've told you before that Marcotte usually captures junkies and addicts, but because of this guy's past Darwin believes that if we break him out we'd be able to use him in spreading the word of what's really going on in the observatory – which would bring the attention of the government..." Her eyes began to well. In her mind Ridley voiced his dismay much more obviously.

"So what do you need me for?" He contested.

"I know you just got back from the war, and it kills me to have to ask you – but Darwin suggested it, and he cares more about the cause than he does for the people fighting it. He wants you to help me break Shuke out." She paused a moment, "Break him out, bring him here, then regroup with the activists and go from there."

Ridley closed the folder and tossed it on the table. He wanted nothing to do with it. Valerie had told him about Darwin in the past: a manipulative man whose thoughtlessness toward his activist group drove him to be a powerful piece on the chessboard. His hands were stained red from countless missions he paid other people to perform. though the color was masked by his lack of assistance in each mission.

"Can't you just say no?" Doerrman brought up the obvious question, one he knew the answer to. That was something that hadn't changed in Valerie.

"You know Darwin, how intimidating he is. Everyone was looking to me, he asked the question in front of the entire group. I froze, I..." She stopped, choking on her words before continuing: "I couldn't say no."

Ridley Doerrman sighed, weighing his options thoroughly before responding:

"Okay, then go through it slowly. Tell me what we need to do." He feigned a smile, one that Valerie had seen so many times before. She knew he wanted nothing to do with it, but she smiled back in response to his unfaltering allegiance: not for the cause, for her.

They sat on the couch in the dull-lit room for nearly an hour as she went through the details with him. Each word that left her mouth felt like a dagger slowly driving into Ridley's heart.

Unfortunately, what Doerrman wanted and what held him back were one and the same. Paradise was invariable, something different to everyone. Valerie was fighting a war of her own: a battle for human rights in a world where merely a shred of one blustered through a bustling city street. Doerrman would never find paradise if his girl was not by his side. In a way, what held him back was the one thing he needed to find it. A man without family, she was all he had. Through this he understood the sacrifice that needed to be made. One more fight, albeit a very different one than what he was used to. Her fight became his – paradise moved around another corner.