Ruby -joshler-

chapter seven

possible trigger warning- self harm

Tyler's P.O.V:

     When Josh and I finished our hot cocoa, we thanked my mom, who smiled back joyfully before we walked down the stairs into my room. I went down first, and I just headed over to my bed and sat down.

     I leaned over and looked down at my feet. I couldn't bare to look at Josh. I was afraid to see his expression. I felt the bed shift beside me as he sat down. He rubbed my back comfortingly. 

     "It's okay, Ty. We'll figure this out." His voice was calmer now. I put my face in my hands. Why was I so stupid? Why did I have to do that to myself?

     "Do your parents know?" He asked me. I simply shook my head no.

     "You're the only person who knows." I started. "And please don't tell anyone. I don't know what I'd do if someone else found out. I trust you, but the kids at school? Not one bit." He nodded.

     "You need to put some ointment on them." He suggested. "And maybe some bandages, too." I shook my head.

     "I'm fine, really." I lied. It honestly was pathetic. There I was, on the verge of tears, after just having relapsed, and I was telling Josh that I was fine. Not only was it untrue, but it was also obvious that it was untrue.

     "Bull-crap." Josh called me out. He got up and walked toward my bathroom. He dug around in the cabinet under my sink until he found a small, unused box of medical supplies that my mom made me keep down there in case of an emergency. I'd never touched it, and I didn't even know what was inside of it.

     He pulled the lid off and looked around for just a few seconds. Then, he grabbed a small white tube and some gauze bandages. At the time, I really didn't think I even needed that much stuff. I only saw them as just a few scratches. 

     He opened up the tube. "Pull up your sleeves." He prompted. I reluctantly obliged, thankful that he wasn't yanking them up himself. He squeezed some of the ointment onto his finger and began rubbing it gently on each of my new cuts. When he was done with my right arm, he started on my left. Then, he took two long strands of the gauze and wrapped it around my wrists, tight enough to stop the bleeding, but not tight enough to hurt.

     "Thanks, Dr. Dun." He looked into my eyes and smiled weakly. I could tell he wasn't happy, but I was glad he was trying to stay strong for me. He pulled my sleeves down and we just sat there like that, with him kneeling in front of me. For a long time, we were just staring at each other. Our faces were pretty close. I could've sworn that he was leaning a bit closer, but a knock on the door of my room startled us both.

     "Tyler?" My mom's voice sounded from outside the door. I tried to calm my quickly beating heart.

     "Come in, Mom!" I yelled loud enough for her to hear me. She pulled the door open and walked down the stairs.

     "I made dinner." She smiled. "Dad and Jay and Zack are home, so I figured we could have somewhat of a family dinner." Me and Josh tried our best to look sincere as we smiled back at her. 

     "All right, let's go." I led Josh up the stairs and into the dining room. Dad and Zack and Jay were sitting at the table. It was completely set, with enough plates and forks and everything for Josh, too. He sat down next to me, in Madison's usual spot. 

     "Who likes mashed potatoes?" We all raised our hand, but to be honest, I really wasn't that fond of them. But I took a small serving anyway. In all, I had mashed potatoes, pork chops, green beans, and rice. It was really good, but I didn't get much. I did manage to eat it all, though.