Ruby -joshler-

chapter six

possible trigger warning- self-harm -I don't want any of you wonderful people to get tempted because of me. Stay alive.

Josh's P.O.V:

     The rest of the week passed as a blur. My parents, as I predicted, weren't really that mad. I visited her a few times, but before I knew it, Ava passed away. I spent most of that week moping around. At one point, Tyler came over and hung out, but he couldn't sleep over, so each night I cried myself asleep, alone. When Ava finally died, I understood why Tyler had seemed so utterly broken over Ruby's death.

     My mom and dad were really nice to me since they knew I was going through a hard time, but all the pity I was receiving was a bit overwhelming. 

     My phone buzzed beside me. I was laying on my bed, just staring at the ceiling. At first I tried to ignore it, but it kept buzzing over and over. I knew it was Tyler before I even picked my phone up.

Ty: You doing okay man? I'm here if you need to talk.

Ty: Josh, I know you're there.

Ty: Dude, come on. You can't ignore me forever. We go to the same school.

Ty: Please man, I really need to talk to someone.

Ty: Josh, please.

     I sighed and began typing.

Josh: Sorry. What's up?

Ty: Can we talk in person?

Josh: Sure. Do you want me to come over or should you come over here.

Ty: Meet me at the treehouse.

Josh: I'm on my way.

     "Ma, I'm gonna go hang out with Tyler." I called to my mom.

     "Okay, sweetie. Have fun." This time she didn't give me a certain time to be back by, so I just set a five-hour time limit for myself unless we decided to stay the night. I nodded and headed out the door without another word.

     Naturally, Tyler was there before me. His house was a bit closer to the school than mine. I scrambled up the ladder quickly. Tyler was there, leaning against the wall, looking sideways out the window. He didn't notice me.

     "Ty." I caught his attention. He looked over and stared into my eyes. He had a desolate expression. An achingly sorrowful look shining in his dull brown eyes. I couldn't see my face, but I knew I immediately looked anxious about him. "Ty, what's up?" I asked him gently. I finished climbing and sat crisscrossed on the floor in front of him. 

     "I-I need h-help." He stuttered with a shaky voice.

     "Ty, what's going on?" I pressed. Tears slipped from his eyes. But he didn't speak. "Ty, you have to tell me what's going on if you need me to help you!" I urged.

     "I n-need help." His lips sputtered as he repeated the only thing he'd said so far. His voice sounded so weak, like it was just on the verge of cracking. 

     I was about to prompt him to tell me more, but he just pulled up his sleeves. That honestly did more than what words could say.

I gasped. I wanted so badly to look away, but my eyes were glued to his wrists. Red cuts, scabs, scars, fresh blood. Everything was there. New and old. Plenty of them were still bleeding, but lots of them were merely white marks from long ago. Blood was smeared around his arm from just putting on his hoodie instead of using bandages.

     "T-Ty..." My voice faltered and then failed completely. It trailed off into nothingness, leaving a sickening silence between us. I ripped my horrified eyes from his arm and looked up to see him looking back out the window. He couldn't look at me. I couldn't blame him. He seemed terrified to see how I would react.

     Soon enough, he decided that he'd had enough. He pushed his sleeves back down and finally met my eyes. Oh God. I thought. He looked guilty. "I'm s-so sor-ry." His voice was tender and raw.

     Without even speaking, I pulled him close to me. I didn't ever want to let him go. He broke down in my arms and began trembling and sobbing uncontrollably. I held him tighter. Before long, I was crying too. We just sat there for what felt like eternity. Crying, holding each other. 

     "Don't you ever say sorry for that." I broke the nauseating quietness. I tried to make my voice sounds stronger than I felt, and I honestly wasn't sure if it worked. He didn't speak, but he managed to stop shaking. But we didn't move. 

     I was feeling so many emotions at that point, right there in the treehouse- sadness, remorse, but also this weird feeling fluttering in my stomach. I wasn't sure what it was. But that was okay. I brought my head down and kissed Tyler's forehead. He had no reaction. 

     He began snoring soon. My lips were still on his forehead, but just without kissing him. I glanced out the window. The little bit of the sky that I could see through the trees was a darkening shade of purple. But there was something else. At first, my drowsy mind couldn't figure it out. Are the stars falling?

     My eyes widened as I realized what it was. I shook Tyler gently. "Ty. Ty, look. It's snowing!" I whispered to him. His eyes fluttered open. He moved his head and looked out the window. He turned back to me and gave me a weak smile.

     "It is, isn't it?" I grinned back at him. "We should head back to my house. Or yours, if you like." He said. I nodded and we broke apart awkwardly. I opened the trapdoor for Tyler and watched him climb safely down the wooden ladder before making my way down(town) after him. 

     We never vocally decided where we'd go, but we automatically just walked to his house. 

Tyler's P.O.V:

     Josh kissed me. He did. Right on my forehead. I didn't even know how to feel. I mean, I was in a desperate position. Maybe he was just a friend trying to comfort me. Or maybe he thought of me as more than a friend. It really was torture not knowing.

     We made our way to my house through the thickening snow. Soon enough, I could barely see a few feet in front of me. I wished I'd worn a thicker sweater instead of my skeleton hoodie. But I couldn't change that now. 

     "There's your house." Josh pointed it out and put his arm around me, guiding me to my doorstep. We stomped our feet on the welcome mat in front of the door to get the snow off. Then we went inside. 

     "Tyler, is that you, honey?" Mom's concerned voice sounded from the kitchen. She walked over to the entryway. "Oh, hello Josh. It's so cold outside, let's get you two warmed up by the fireplace!" She ushered us into the living room where we sat on a stone bench that was set right in front of the fireplace. It warmed our backs as my mom went to the kitchen and returned with a few mugs of hot cocoa. 

     "Madison is over at Sammy's house, Tyler. Zack and Jay are at the store with Dad." I nodded and accepted the warm mug from her. Josh did the same beside me. We just sat there for a while, sipping hot chocolate and talking about our days. Josh conveniently left out the part where I told him about my... problem. I was grateful for that.

||A/N: So there you go guys. You probably all saw this coming ;-; it's pretty predictable... either way, I love you guys so much. Stay alive and stay strong.||