With Or Without

Chapter 2

The kiss was really deep. It had me thinking for a few minutes I felt lost.
I stood there looking at Justin after he kissed me, he uttered "I'm Sorry" and left.

I started thinking about what just happened, I sat at the counter in the kitchen, smiling to myself, touching my lips when I remembered how his lips felt on mine.

There was another knock on the door and I opened the door; I pulled Justin in by his arm and pushed him against the door for the drama of it.

I kissed him deeply, I even found myself taking his shirt off. But I stopped myself there since Justin was now the one staring. I looked at him and the look in his eyes made my heart hurt. It was as if he was saying 'It was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened'.

This time it wasn't Justin leaving it was me slowly stepping back and by the time I turned around to walk away, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into hug. I felt tears threatening to surface and escape eyes but I controlled it and swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat.

I was a nervous wreck and I was afraid that he would notice and leave. But instead he released me and lifted my chin up so I was looking in his eyes.
He then whispered "I Love You Jade."
I Smiled and it being the first time I was ever going to say this I bearly spoke, "I Love You Justin".

We stood and looked at each other for a few minutes before I brought him to sit in the kitchen while I tried to prepare an acceptable meal.

While I was pouring the corn in the bowl to finish up the meal Justin Spoke.
"Jade?"
"Ya?" Omg omg omg please don't be angry.
"Lucie and I Got Into A Fight On Thursday, I Didn't Tell You Because... Well I Know You Don't Like Talking About My Relationship" He sighed and I was starting to think he was about to have a break down.
I gave him the best 'it's okay' smile I could muster "What Was The Fight About?"
"It Was About This."  What?!
"What..."
"Jade Please Just Don't, She Saw Me Texting You, And She Thought She Should Know What For?" She must hate me now, I thought.
"Well?"
"Well?..." Why do I get the feeling Justin doesn't care about What Lucie Thinks Anymore?
"What Did You Tell Her?" I was getting impatient, he wasn't speaking as fluently as I wanted him to.
"That you Are My Best Friend, And She Should Stop Asking."

"Justin!!..." He crashed his lips against mine and I just kissed him back.
I had no reason to be upset with him, this is what I wanted right?

"Are You Going To Break Up With Her Then?" This all I needed to know.
"I'll Think About It" He lowers his head and fixes shirt that I took off earlier.
"Fine" oh well this is complicated.

We ate the meal I prepared mostly in silence except for the moment I mentioned that there was a party that was invited to.
"Are You Going To Take Me?" I really didn't want to go alone. And I hadn't heard from my friend Katie all day.
"Sure. What Time Did You Plan On Getting There?" Oh Justin you're so kind.
"8?" I'll need time to get ready.
"Okay, I'll be back for you."  He smiled at me and took our empty plates into the kitchen.

He then kissed my forehead and left.
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

****
Justin texted me when he got home and I enjoyed texting him.
# I'm home hun.:)

*Great:)

# Jade I Like Kissing You ;)

*And I love kissing you<3

# What if I left her for you?

# Would You Be Disappointed In Me?

*Are you seriously considering that?

*No, but I'd pity her.

# Help Me Decide Jade, Caz I Feel Like I'm Being Abused And I'm Stuck.

*Give yourself a week to decide. And while you're at it I want to see you here everyday.

# Ok:) No Prob.

I fell asleep with the phone next to me not knowing what to respond saying.

***
After the first three days of seeing Justin every day it was starting to become what I looked forward to mostly each day.

He'd call me when he got home and we'd talk for hours every night. It Felt So Real.
Except on the fifth night of this week trial I got a message saying 'I Think I Made A Decision. Can I See You?'

I panicked and left the message unanswered. I wasn't ready to know what our fate would be.

For the rest of that week I stayed away from Justin as difficult as it was I did it and even thou I received a few messages, missed called and a few knocks on the door I didn't allow him to see me.

I just hoped that he was ok and that his decision made him happy.

He stopped calling me by the last day in the week and I typed a few messages to send to Justin a few times  but erased them because I just wasn't ready.

Why did he stop calling me though? Does that mean he chose her? Should I call him? Why hasn't he called me yet?
These are just a few of the question that would pop up in my head when I laid in bed. I was really wondering what to do when my phone rang and I hesitated to answer. It rang and rang and as soon as I decided to pick it up it stopped ringing.

I laid in bed for another 10 minutes and my phone started to vibrate again.
So I picked it up on its first ring.

"Hello.." Let's See how this goes.

"Hey Jade, What's Up?" Oh No.