With Or Without

Chapter 5

She Knows... And Now Everyone Will Know.
I Will Be Called All Sorts Of Names And That's Was What I Feared The Most. NEVER have I Ever Felt So Cheap.

Two Days Passed....
I Hadn't Seen Justin And Truth Is I Didn't Want To. I Felt Like A Bad Person. All I Could Do Was Hope That Each Person I Knew Didn't Already Know. What Was I Thinking?

My Phone Started To Ring And I Hesitated To Get It. I Already Knew Who It Was; Someone That Was Displeased With My Actions And Wanted To Get A Word Of Disrespect In.
The Phone Rang Out And As Soon As It Stopped I Took it Up And Called Justin.

He Pick Up On The Third Ring.
"Jade?"

"Hey, Where Are You?" I Was Really Upset Both  At Myself And At Him.

"I'm Home. Can I Come Over?" Why Would Do That Now? You Already Know What's Been Happening And You Think Coming Over Is O Good Idea.  Note That's What I Was Thinking. My Answer Was..

"YES!! We Need To Talk." Like Hell We Do.

"Then I'm On My Way" Why Does He Sound Excited?

"Okay". I Hung Up.

I Need To Shower.. I Ran Upstairs And Pull Out Underwear Drawer, It Almost Fell Out.

I Picked Out My Clothes And Grabbed A Towel.
Jumped In The Shower As Soon As I Was Finished I Wrapped My Towel Around My Body And Walked Into My Room.

'Great He's Here' My Subconscious Was Talking To Me.  I Saw Him Sitting On The Bed So She Didn't Have To Tell Me That. I Rolled My Eyes And Walked Toward The Bed To Get My Clothes..

As I Drew Closer I Saw That He Put My Clothes Out In The Way I Would Put Them On..
Blouse At The Top, Shorts Below It, Bra And Panties On Top Of Those.

Why Was He Messing With Me? I Was Shy At This Moment Though In My Towel There Was No Part Of Me Feeling Timid. I Went And Sat Right Beside Him. I Planned On Picking My Clothes Up And Getting Dressed In The Bathroom But He Held My Hand When I Was About To Pick Them Up.

I Sighed, Looking Over At Him His Eyes Were Fixed On My Lips.. I Licked Them While Thinking 'What The Hell?'
I'm Not Kissing Him Again, I Told Myself. When He Started Leaning On About To Teach Me A Lesson I Was Too Slow To Teach Myself.

'With Him Nothing I Say Whether Interpersonally Or Intrapersonally It Won't Go'.

He Gave Me A Peck On My Lips.. And The Next Thing I Knew I Was Opening My Eyes.  So, I Didn't Kiss Him. I Smiled To Myself, Proud That I Stuck To My Word. I Felt His Lips Crash Against Mine Again And This Time They Were Moving In Unplanned Coordination, Doing Their Own Thing..

'Wow!! And My Plans Get Flushed Down The Drain' After About A Minute, Who's Counting? I Looked Down On My Leg Since I Was Now Feeling Unexpected Breeze There I Saw That I My Towel Got Slightly Shifted. I Fixed It Quickly, Hiding The Bear Skin That Was Showing.

I Looked Up And As Expected, He Was Looking At My Actions.

"You Don't Need To Cover Up."
'Excuse Me?'
"Huh? Uhm" I Stuttered

What The Hell Is Wrong With Him? I'm Not About To Be Naked In This Room With Him.

"It's Okay Jade" He Smiled
'No It's Not' My Thoughts Don't Seem To Be What I Go By.

I Picked Up My Clothes And Walked Into The Bathroom. "For You It Is".

I Heard Him Mumble A Few Words But I Was Too Nervous To Stop And Listen.

I Put My Clothes On And Soon Enough I Was Back Into The Room Sitting In My Previous Position, Talking To Justin About What Had Happened.

"Yes, I Know That She Knows" I Sighed And Held My Head Down. I Was Disappointed In Myself For A Minute Then I Looked Up And He Was Staring At Me.

"Justin I Can't" I Walked Out And Ran Downstairs. I Tried To Occupy My Time By Cooking Something. I Left Him In My And Took Out A Few Sausages Out The Fridge And Got To Cutting Them Up. I Took Out Two Eggs And Mixed It Up. I Turned The Stove On, Added Salt As Well As A Little Black Pepper To The Mix And Turn Around To Pour It In The Pot And Froze In My Position. Wgere's The Fryer? Still In The Cabinet. My Subconcious Laughed At Me. And I Just Shook My Head And Took The Pot Out, Landing It On The Burner. I wiped My Tears And Grabbed A Stool.

'What's Wrong With You?' I Knew The Voice Of My Sarcastic Subconcious. All She's Good For Is Bashing Me And Making Me Feel Bad. But Really, What Am I Doing? Justin Was Still In My Room, I Wonder What He's Doing. I Pick Up The Bowl And Threw Out Two Patches On The Surface And Walked Upstairs.
I Walked In And He Was Putting One Of My Dresses On A Hanger. 'OK. Weird'

"What Are You Doing?"

He Was Shocked. He Looked Up And Said "I Just Want To Do Something For You". His Eyes Look So Genuine And I Felt My Heart Melting Again.

I Finally Discovered The Extent Of Unhealthiness This Was. It's Just Ridiculous.
Wait! The Eggs!! I Ran Downstairs To The Stove And Turned It Off. I Flipped It With The Spatula And Saw How Burnt They Were. And Sound I Heard Footsteps, Running Towards Me. "Jade. Did I Say Something?" Of He Thought It Was Him. I Laughed And Turned To The Stove Again. "No But Look What You Did."

I Took Them Out And Asked "Want One?"
We Both Laughed So Hard As I Placed Them In Two Seperate Plates. I Got The Bread And placed It On The Island In The Middle Of The Kitchen And Soon We Were Eating.

I Found Myself Kissing Him Twice After Breakfast But I Didn't Make Much Of It. We Soon Established That The Feelings We Had Were More Than Mutual And It Was About Time To Make Good On That. But She Was Still In The Way And I Wasn't About To Snatch A Dude. I Kept Telling Myself. 'I'll Wait'.

Again. I Felt Like A Home Wrecker Waiting The Dissolution To Be Granted And The Deed Done.