With Or Without

Chapter 6

A month passed by and the issue was the talk of the town then it wasn't.

Justin and I found each other's companies to be so consuming that all we did was lay around and talk, make breakfast for each other when he slept over and most importantly; more kissing.

We were not dating but as far I could tell it felt like it. I would call him when I was home alone and he would call me whenever he wanted to. A bond slowly grew between us and soon enough it was unbreakable. Or so we thought.

Today is Wednesday, Justin had just sent me a message stating that we needed to talk and I was so nervous. I relied to the message with *I'll meet you in 1 hour*.

I showered and dragged on a mini skirt and a t- shirt. I walked out and found Justin in our usual meeting place.

"Hey" My voice was hardly even there.

"Hi" he said with a smile.

"What's on your mind?" I leaned on him in a teasing way. I wanted to get straight to the point.

"I think we need to do something about this. Us. We need to fix it"

"Wai, Wait what?" I stuttered. What on earth is happening here?

"Jade I love you and I don't think I could handle seeing you with anyone else. I think we should date."

'What is he saying? This will never work'

But my mind and my mouth are never in sync "Ya, maybe we should". "I don't think I could watch you get hurt again and I will never hurt you the way you were hurt before. I love you too Justin, and now for me that is all that matters" I leaned in like the pro I was and kissed his lips. That was when it hit me 'this was a big mistake' it would never be as easy as we expected it to be.

After an epic make out session we spoke about our first official date, where we would meet and at what time on what day. The date was planned for the following Friday which meant we had one day between us becoming an official couple and our first date.

Though I had my doubts I never made it known and we went on several dates. I feared that I would mess up just like I said I wouldn't. I had these fears for a reason but I was too caught up in my new relationship to think about these reasons in detail.

On the night of our fifth date we went to his favorite restaurant and everything was fine. He brought me home and made sure I was tucked in. It wasn't until he kissed me good night that I realized 'this wasn't where the relationship ended, there was more than just french kissing and going out every chance we got.' I knew he would want to have sex soon and I had no clue of what it would be like and what I was expected to do.

I went to school the following week and everything seemed perfect. I would meet Justin every evening after school in our regular meeting spot.

We went up to my room and discussed going to the movies the following Tuesday. He kissed me good night but this time I held on to his hand. I had to know what it would be like. How gentle would he be. What was expected of me.

I pulled him toward me and he laid on top of me kissing my lips passionately, I could tell it wasn't going to happen tonight but I needed to prepare and rehearse. He seemed to have gotten an understanding of what I was trying to do so he went along with it. I felt his lips linger on mine until they were on my cheek. He slowly moved to my ear and I moaned like I'd never done before. He nibbled on my neck while one hand gripped my waist and his other hand began to lift my t-shirt. I felt my heart pounding against my chest and all I could think of saying was 'Oh my God. Was this really happening?' He kissed my tummy and I had to draw the line. I breathed his name "Justin" He placed one last peck on my belly and looked into my eyes "Yes Jade?" " That's enough" That is what I said but I honestly meant I'm scared.

Being the gentleman that he was, Justin nodded and pecked me on the cheek and walked out closing my room door behind him. I heard the front door close and I knew for sure he had left.

*********

The following morning I woke up to the sound of music and I knew mom was home. I ran downstairs and saw her dancing with her hand on the egg tray for about a minute. I shouted "Mom!!" and that is when she turned to look at me and I remembered the last time I saw her. I missed her for sure. I was just too busy to notice it.

I ran to her and hugged her like I was desperately in need of affection. We spoke mainly about her trip and I mentioned dating Justin but it seemed to have missed her since her phone rang and she excused herself.

"I have to go sweetie" I heard her say after about 4 minutes of whispering on the phone.

"Already?" Is the only word I could say, with my head hanging down. I was disappointed but it mean more tie with Justin alone.

Soon enough I was helping her pack so she could leave.

****

It was finally date night and we went to the movies. I hardly thought about what I knew was bound to happen tonight. We were walking into my drive way while talking about the ending of the movie when Justin suddenly stopped ahead of me. He turned around and looked me deep in my eyes. This was it, I was ready. He looked at my lips and I felt myself dive into a kiss. Justin pushed his hand in my jacket pocket and pulled out my keys. He started stepping back, holding me in place so we wouldn't break the kiss. I then felt my body swing and my back hit the door. He broke the kiss for a few seconds and unlocked the door. We got in and he slammed it behind us; We were in such a hurry. It was dark but it seemed to be so convenient we knew where we were headed and we didn't need any light to get there.

We soon got to my room and I was now in my underwear. Justin still had his pants on but I was in the process of unbuckling his belt. I landed on the bed and he started hovering over me. He kissed my neck and unlocked my bra and I knew then that there was no going back. I heard my bra hit the ground and his lips met mine again.