Sam Winchester Imagines

#19 Dark Days

There were times in your life where you just had a down day for no reason. You weren't a depressed person, at least you didn't think so, you just felt really sad some days. On these days you just felt like the gloomiest person in the world, to the point where you'd go sit and have a cry in your room. You honestly didn't know why these days happened but you just thought about all the wrong you'd done and all the bad stuff that had happened to you and it just made you super sad. You called them dark days.

You were having a dark day of one of your days off from hunting. You woke up in the bunker and instantly felt like shit. Sam wasn't beside you to make you feel better. On dark days, you avoided people, but it would've been nice to get a morning cuddle from Sam to try and make you feel better. It wasn't like you were going anywhere so you got dressed into light grey sweats and one of Sam's massive t shirts. Like all of Sam's t-shirts, it was massive on you but it was comfy none the less and smelt like him too. You mostly moped around in the morning eating the Winchesters out of house and home. Whatever you could consider as comfort food wasn't even given a second glance before it was shovelled down your throat. This included Dean's pie.

"Who in God's name ate my pie?!" Dean shouted from the kitchen. You were in the library eating some ice-cream while staring into space, so you didn't hear the roar of Dean Winchester as he discovered that you'd eaten his pie.

"Y/N?! Did you eat my pie?" Dean exclaimed as he stormed into the library. You were still away with the fairies so continued eating your ice-cream and staring at the wall.

"Y/N?" Dean said a little softer, noticing your state and clicking his fingers in front of your face

"Hi, yeah, sorry. Did you say something?" you said, snapping out of your daze

"Did you eat my pie Y/N"

"Yeah sorry, I got hungry. I'll buy you another one" you promised looking at him with sad eye. You braced yourself for Dean's lecture about eating his pie but it never came

"No it's alright, you don't have do that" you flinched as he patted your shoulder and walked out the library. You resumed your state of staring at the wall, thinking and eating ice-cream.

What you didn't know was Dean was making his way to Sam's room. He was concerned about you and why you were so out of it.

"Dude, something's not right with Y/N, she acting strange" Dean said bursting into Sam's room. He didn't bother to keep his voice down because if you could hear him shouting from the kitchen, you wouldn't hear him from Sam's room talking.

"How strange?" Sam asked, his voice laced with concern over his girlfriend. You had been avoiding him all day until Sam gave up and just sat in his room.

"Right now, she's sitting in the library, staring at a wall, eating ice-cream and completely out of it. She looks really sad Sammy, I hate seeing her like this. Go talk to her please?"

Without another word, Sam got up and walked to the library where you were still sitting in the same position as when Dean left you. Sam just sat next to you and stared at you.

"Are you going to sit here all day?"

"Probably" you mumbled, barely inaudible

"Okay, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Sam said resting his hand on your knee. You flinched at the touch but let him rest his hand on you.

"Probably"

"You're going to do this all day aren't you?"

"Probably"

Sam couldn't figure out what was wrong. You were so happy yesterday, watching Sherlock with him, cuddled up on the sofa. Today you seemed like a different person, someone who was letting sadness swallow her whole. The youngest Winchester could do nothing but stare at the broken girl beside him, the girl he loved was hurting and she wouldn't let him in. That was the hardest part of all.

"You're staring" you stated in monotone

"I'm gazing" Sam protested, trying to lift your spirits

"It's creepy" you replied. You wanted desperately to humour him and play along with this whole 'it's okay!' facade but your heart just wasn't in it

"It's romantic" he tried. Usually in this situation you'd call him a love struck doofus and kiss him anyway but you couldn't even bring yourself to look at him. Instead, you curled up in your chair and rested your head on Sam's lap. He lifted his hand up to stroke your hair from your face and proceeded to stroke your hair, not forcing you in anyway to speak. This suited you fine as you weren't sure what you would tell him, everything you conjured up in your head sounded ridiculous and childish. 'I'm just really sad' made you sound like a 12 year old and 'I really don't know Sammy' made you sound like you had something to hide.

You felt the familiar lump in your throat as tears brimmed your eyes and threatened to fall. You couldn't keep in your emotion anymore as a sob wracked your body and you cried into Sam's lap.

"Hey, shh shh don't cry princess" Sam hushed trying to comfort you. You couldn't take it anymore, shutting him out was doing you no good, so you crawled up onto Sam's lap and rested your head on his chest as you cried. You were certain that you were getting his shirt wet but it only made him hug you closer. Sam traced patterns on your back with his finger and let you cry into his chest. It didn't matter to him in that moment of time that he didn't know what was making you this upset because he was your life line and you needed him, more that he needed to fuel his curiosity.

"I'm sorry Sammy" you whispered, barely inaudible but he heard it

"For what Y/N"

"For being this whole burden to you and making your shirt wet" you tried to joke, but it came out awful as your voice cracked and became thick with tears

"No matter what you think Y/F/N, you will never be a burden to me. If you were would you think I would be here right now? Or would I be in my room, not caring. I love you and you being upset would never change that" Sam reassured you kissing your head

After a while, you finally plucked up the courage to tell Sam about your dark days and how everything just piled up until one day you just needed to isolate yourself. Or so you thought.

"The next time you have one of these days, you make sure you come to me. I'll be here for you and we can ride out this day together. Okay?"

"Okay Sammy, I love you"

"I love you too" Sam said softly, leaning in to kiss you on the lips. You kissed back, running your fingers through his hair. When you both pulled away, he planted a kiss on your forehead and held you in his embrace for a long time.

"Dean's really pissed I ate his pie" you said more to yourself than to Sam

"Damn straight"

You were sure to buy him a new pie the next day. Lets just say Dean respected you 10x more than he did before.

Hey dudes :) Sorry its been quite a while since I uploaded I've just been drowning in school work and coursework etc. I started watching Sherlock if any of you guys watch it, SuperWhoLock fandom, I'm talking to you ;) ANYWAYS, I always upload at like 3:00am for some reason...

GUYS WE GOT 500 READS OH MY JESUS THANK YOU!!!

Thanks for reading!

-EF xx