Damn You [BoyxBoy]

Crash and Burn, Boy!

No song this time :P In the first chapter, I changed one important sentence: I changed when the prologue happens.

The waitress turns to leave from our table, giving me the first chance to talk to Jeremy since we have arrived. "This is way too fancy, Jeremy," I insist, "It's going to be really expensive." He looks up from the menu, and rolls his eyes, but he doesn't respond.

I look at the menu for a moment. Even though my family is quite wealthy, we never go to these fancy places- they annoy us. So, now, I don't know what any of this food is, nor do I know what language it's in. Noticing that I am struggling, Jeremy puts down his menu, and tells me, "I'll order for you." I smile and blush, but I'm grateful for his help.

I've been trying to keep myself calm ever since we entered the restaurant, but I can't help but feel that my mouth is strangely dry, my stomach feels like it's eating itself, and my leg won't stop shaking. Sure, I've been on plenty of dates before, all of which were nice, but I've never done anything like this. Especially with a guy. Not only do the stares of some people frustrate me, they frighten me. I keep thinking to myself, What if someone from school comes here? What if it's one of my friends? Or Jeremy's! Those thoughts keep nagging in the back of my head, distracting me from the fact that I''m on a date with my school's "dreamiest" boys (according to horny, teenage girls)

"Calm down, Ty," Jeremy says, snapping me out of my nervous thoughts, "No one will see us." His menu is now down, and his pleading eyes won't stop watching me. He looks so sincere, allowing me to relax just a little. Jeremy leans over the table and connects our lips. It's hard with all the people who I'm sure are staring and muttering to themselves, but I enjoy the sensations of his moist, soft, and pink lips on mine. It is feeling that is so strange to describe. His kisses feel like puzzle pieces snapping together within me. Inside, I am still reluctant to call myself gay. Yes, I've kissed two guys; yes, it was amazing; yes I loved it more than any girl's kiss. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm gay. Just a little... flexible with my preferences. Funny how you'd think I, of all people, would be the one to accept his sexuality, but in me and Jeremy's case, it seems like he's the one who has it all figured out. He's certainly the one who looks all put together and shameless about kissing a dude in the middle of an upperclassmen restaurant filled with ignorant, judgmental people.

As he pulls away receding back to his seat, a feeling of guilt slowly builds up inside me as the happiness subsides. Sean. He has been on my mind ever since earlier. Can you blame me? He kisses me (in what seemed like a goodbye) and just leaves! No explanation, no nothing, he just says goodbye. I know full well that it's good that he moved on from that one kiss we had, but I feel empty. Jeremy makes me feel like I'm the happiest dude on Earth, but with that one, simple kiss, I felt like I belonged with Sean. And I am just now realizing it. I feel like everything has just happened so quickly. It's only been a few days, and I have already come out to my family; realized that I may like men; kissed my "rival" from school; kissed my coach; and signed up for a carnival! I'm surprised that I am even sane. How the hell is someone suppose process that so quickly?

"Um, Ty, 'you ok?" Jeremy says, looking curiously at me.

"Yeah, sorry- fine," I mutter out, looking back at my menu.

He uses his hand to lower it out of my view, and chuckles softly, "I already ordered while you were visiting your La La Land." I blush madly at how stupid I feel when I'm around him.

"So, what was Ty thinking about?" he asks intriguingly, wiggling his eyebrows that are a darker color than his hair.

I panic slightly, not being sure of what to say. "I-um- nothing," I say.