The Words I Want To Say

lol (4)

last night,
i waited for you.
i waited for your goodnight texts,
i waited for your phone call,
i wondered where you were.

last night,
i was crying myself to sleep.
i was scared that you were probably sick,
i was scared if something bad happened to you,
i missed you a lot.

this morning,
in the first minute i woke up,
i remembered you.
i remembered how perfect you were in my dream,
i remembered how your face was like an angel from my nightmare.
because of that,
i checked my phone.
i hoped there was a text from you.
but there wasn't.

today,
i saw you.
and you looked at me,
i didn't look back.

after lunch,
i saw you again.
there was you,
smiling at me.
i looked down and smile.

after break,
and i saw you again,
i saw you the whole time.
i was laughing with my friends,
and you saw me,
you always saw everything i did.
but i didn't want to look back.

but there was a time,
i saw your eyes starring right into mine,
and something happened to my chest.
when i saw your eyes,
i feel like my heart just broke into pieces.

hey, it's not like that.

i'm glad to see that you're okay,
i was happy when i saw you there,
but something is wrong here,
and i don't know why.

when i saw you,
i wanted to run towards you,
i wanted to be in your arms,
feeling safe and make myself feel like i'm home,
i wanted to tell you that i miss you,
i wanted to tell you that i can't get you out of my mind the other night.

but,
something told me not to.
i don't know what was happening to me,
so i asked myself,
i couldn't find the answer.

then i realize,
i'm lost with my own feeling.

...