Falling is the easy part (Camren)

19

Camila:

They let us have an hour sat with Jay. Told us we had to let him get some rest, which in true Jay fashion, he'd laughed at and joked that he'd got plenty of rest when he'd been out cold all night. I'd giggled but Lauren hadn't found it that funny and said we shouldn't be laughing about it. I think she was feeling guilty still about the two of them fighting. She was very apologetic when we'd first gone into see him, rambling on about getting the wrong of the stick and putting two and two together and getting five, that kind of stuff. Jay and I had both just told her to shut up.

Which she did. Reluctantly. But she sat and listened as Jay explained that we'd just had a chat together in the pub over a few drinks, and nothing even remotely dodgy had happened. I'd agreed obviously, hopefully nodding in all the right places. Lauren tried to apologise again and take the blame for him being hospitalised only to be shut up by Jay slamming his hand over her mouth. Apparently he'd just got into a stupid fight with some big bulky aggressive guy over a disagreement about Jay flirting with his girlfriend. He wasn't angry, or upset, or drowning his sorrows. And he didn't think it was Lauren's fault. It was just, in his words, a case of choosing the wrong girl to charm.

Though, he did also point out that he thought said girl was well up for it. Even more so after he started taking the punches.

It was a little awkward sat with them both after my heart to heart with Jay yesterday. Especially since I've yet to fill Lauren in all that. And Jay was only making it worse, raising his eyebrows and dropping cheeky remarks every now and again. I'm fairly sure I'd spent the majority of the hour blushing with my head down and trying to avoid Lauren's curious looks. I didn't exactly want to go into the whole thing in front of Jay. No, I hope that me and Lauren can have some private time later. Just the two of us.

We need to have some private time.

We need to talk.

Leaving the hospital Lauren appeared a lot more relaxed than she had when I'd arrived first thing this morning. I'm guessing knowing that Jay was going to be alright, and probably let out later this evening had taken a huge load off. I like to think that me telling her I do in fact like her had helped the smile on her face. It had definitely helped the smile on my own face and taken a load off my own shoulders.

I like her. And now she knows I like her. She knows that I spent yesterday afternoon pouring my little heart out to Jay. And also thanks to Jay and his eyebrow wiggling and elbow nudging, she knows that I want to be with her. I don't think subtle is something Jay acquaints himself with.

Anyways so now we've been ushered out of Jay's room by the nice nurse from earlier, who insisted we should go get some sleep and chill out before they release him. And whilst I'm tired, and fairly sure that Lauren is beyond tired, probably somewhere in the exhausted category, I don't really want to sleep. I'd much rather talk. We hadn't really spoken on our way from his room back out onto the street and I really just want Lauren to suggest that we go somewhere to talk. Like really.

But she's kinda just staying quiet. And I can't seem to find the courage to ask her. Even though I'm ready to tell her all, to put everything on the line for her, I'm a little nervous about breaching the whole thing. It's been so long since I did the whole feelings sharing thing, apart from talking to Jay yesterday, and it still scares me a little.

In a good way I think.

Yeah totally in a good way.

It's called falling in love for a reason right? I mean falling's meant to be scary. It's about putting yourself out there right? About facing up to the fear and getting past all that. I think, or at least I hope I think, that if I fall then Lauren's going to be there to catch me.