Sane // A Winter Soldier Story

chapter seven // home

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"How does the earth around your feet just slip away?" -Snake Eyes by Mumford and Sons

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〘Athena〙

It was eight o'clock, and her work day was over. She didn't want to leave James- not when he had just started to open up to her- but she knew if she didn't leave, Mr. Caraway would be extremely displeased. She hadn't seen him since they'd worked through her schedule together a few days ago, and she didn't want to risk losing her sessions with Bucky by not following the rules he'd set for her. She was to leave eight o'clock on the dot, every day. So begrudgingly, she began gathering her things.

Bucky had barely touched the food she'd given him, but he really had tried. He'd eaten half the apple before saying he felt sick, and then he ate a few carrots before saying he really couldn't eat anymore.

He's been conditioned to reject food for the last seventy years. Athena worried that the conditioning was so deep that it may take months to sort out- and in the meantime, his physical health would decline rapidly. She decided she'd do some research and planning when she got home to try and figure out a way through it.

After he'd eaten slightly, she'd spent over half an hour trying to convince him to sleep, but to no avail. He refused to close his eyes. He said he wasn't interested in having another nightmare and he didn't want to sleep in this compound anyway, where everyone could see him and he was such an open target. Athena was frustrated, but she didn't let him see. She couldn't allow her personal emotions to get in the way. He needed to decide to sleep by himself.

Still, she worried for his health. He hadn't slept in four days and had barely eaten anything to sustain himself with. Perhaps he was used to it, but it didn't mean it was good for him.

She said goodbye to him right at eight, giving him a comforting smile and promising that she'd be back again at ten o'clock the next morning with a nice breakfast. He'd smiled back- a real, actual, genuine smile. That was the first smile she'd ever seen on him. Surely there was no smile in the world that was as beautiful as his, and certainly none were as rewarding as his. Athena had left feeling like she was on top of the world, solely because James had given her a breathtaking smile.

Soon, she was getting into her car, and the Virginia State Psychiatric Facility was just a blur of lights on her rearview mirror. Athena still felt uncomfortable leaving James behind, and she scolded herself for becoming so attached. She had to maintain distance- had to maintain a professional attitude- when it came to him. She of course wanted him to get better on a personal level, but she had to keep a platonic distance between them at all times at the facility.

The doctor-patient relationship between them must be kept as such- because if it wasn't, they'd risk everything they were working towards. Being friends simply wasn't an option.

She shook her head, banishing all thoughts of James and the Winter Soldier from her mind.

Tonight, she was determined to sleep, and maybe relax a little. While most people in their mid-twenties spent their Tuesday nights out with friends, Athena preferred to keep to herself, catch up on paperwork, and maybe read. She'd always been an introvert, and rarely went out with her friends anymore. But she wasn't upset; she enjoyed her alone time.

Throughout all of high school and college she'd mostly kept to herself, choosing to throw herself into her schoolwork rather than going to parties or meeting new people. Then she'd earned her Ph.D., and dove headfirst into a career as one of the most promising young psychologists of her time. She'd been working hard ever since.