Sane // A Winter Soldier Story

chapter eleven // breakdown

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"Let my blood only run out when my world decides. There is no way out of your only life, so run on, run on!" -Hot Gates by Mumford and Sons

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《Athena》

Hours later, Athena was still with Bucky. Her sessions with him were supposed to be much shorter than this, but she could tell that he needed company- not just to stave off loneliness, but also because the more he's alone, the more he's going to think about everything that's going on. And God knows he doesn't need that.

It was nearly ten before she realized how late it was. Her and Bucky had been engaged in a nice conversation about how the world had changed since the second world war, when suddenly she glanced at her watch and nearly had a panic attack.

"Shoot, it's already ten!" She exclaimed, eyes wide. She stood up in a rush, and just barely caught the slight disappointment in Bucky's face. She instantly felt guilty. She cast him a regretful glance.

"I'm sorry, James. But I shouldn't even have been here past eight. Mr. Caraway is going to kill me if he finds out I stayed later."

James immediately shook his head and stood up beside her, frowning. "No don't feel guilty, it's fine. I understand," he said quickly, and Athena nodded, but she saw through his facade. He really didn't want her to go- but he also didn't want to make her feel bad for leaving.

She stepped forward and put her hand on his shoulder, giving him a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"I'm sorry. But I promise I'll be back in the morning. If you can, you should try to sleep," she suggested softly. He nodded, and they both pretended he was actually going to get sleep tonight- but they both knew he wouldn't.

She patted him on the shoulder and turned around, walking slowly to the door. She hated leaving him. With his fragile mental state, she couldn't be sure whether or not he was suicidal, and the thought of him ending it all while she wasn't here had started to lurk in the back of her mind. But she couldn't afford to be taken away from his case when they'd only just begun. If he was in fact suicidal, then Athena being pulled away from his case would certainly increase the likelihood of him doing something irreversible. 

She had to trust that the past two years of him hanging on hadn't been simply due to chance. She had to trust that he truly wanted to live.

Once she reached the exit, she entered her fingerprint, and the door slid aside. She entered the airlock, and, looking behind her, sent a wave to James. He smiled and waved back.

Athena's heart skipped when she caught sight of the light inside of him. His beauty was of something else entirely, and the only time he was even more beautiful in her eyes was when he as happy. She flushed as the door shut in front of her, and she promptly scolded herself.

Stop it Athena. He's just your patient.

She left the airlock, pushing the weird moment from her mind, and gathered her things. She hurried out of the facility in an attempt to avoid Mr. Caraway, and she had made it all the way out of the door when something else stopped her in her tracks.

She froze in confusion at the completely unexpected sight before her. Steve Rogers was sitting on the ground beside the main doors, his hands clasped together and his elbows resting on his knees. He was crying. Athena did a double take out of shock.

"Steve?!" she called, a deep frown of confusion on her face. Steve raised his head, and she saw that his eyes were brimmed with red. He tried to give her a smile.