kinotherapy || k.h.g

four

four
/sojin's point of view/
-

kino freaked me out in the beginning when we first talked. he always seemed so happy, it was unsettling for me. how on earth was someone constantly smiling? he sat on my bed and told me story after story and not one a single story was upsetting or disheartening. it was a change. all i had heard before kino was one bad thing after another, and hearing him talking about the innocent things just made the world seem a lot better.

i stayed at the hospital all day and all night. the doctors needed to monitor me and check on my mood to see if the therapy was working. they wouldn't tell me if i was getting better or worse though since all they did was observe me from afar and take notes. that freaked me out too.

one of the things kino was required to do was dance. dancing was his specialty, according to one of the nurses who had fallen head over heels for him (she never told me, but it was blatantly obvious that you had to be blind to not notice). kino was oblivious to the nurse's feelings. but she was right; kino was really good at dancing.

"what did you want me to dance to today?" kino asked at three in the afternoon; he always danced at three in the afternoon.

"anything, i guess," i shrugged and looked away; i wasn't feeling the dancing today. i never felt the dancing.

"do you even like it when i dance?" kino asked me.

"you're really good at dancing, but you know i have depression," i sighed.

"how about this," kino walked over to where i was sitting on the bed and held out his hand. "let's dance together."

i could feel myself turn red at the comment. i abruptly turned my head away and shook my head. i didn't like to dance because i couldn't dance. i had two left feet. kino walked around the bed and made me look him in the eye by grabbing my cheeks and pushing my face upwards. i was embarrassed and not feeling it, but kino insisted. it was just something kino did. another thing he did was manage me to do things i normally wouldn't do.

"okay, so i have to place my hands on your hips," he said as he did so. "you need to put your hands on my shoulders."

i hesitantly raised my hands to his shoulder and swallowed the nervously. dancing was such a weird feeling to me. i didn't want to dance, especially with the cute dancer boy in front of me.

"step to the left," he said as he stepped to the right. i ended up stepping to the right in sheer nervousness.

"i said the left," he laughed.

"sorry," i mumbled as i moved to the left.

"okay, now you go to the right," he giggled just a little, and i moved to the right, my concentration focused on the ground where my feet were.

i had to stand on the tips of my toes. kino wasn't that tall, but i was short. i tripped over his feet several times even though i was staring at our feet the entire time, and kino laughed every time i lost my balance. he wasn't laughing at me though; he was laughing because it was fun for him.

"i think you've gotten the hang of this, sojin," kino told me after i barely avoided stepping on his foot.

"i don't really think so," i said.

"try looking up now. see if you can dance without looking down," kino said.

i looked at him and saw him smile at me. his eyes seemed to sparkle more than they normally did despite the fact they got smaller, and his nose lifted up just a little, but it was cute. his teeth were gorgeous, and for some reason, it made me feel a little upset. he was such a perfect being; what was he doing with a mess like me?

i stopped dancing. i set my heels back down on the ground again and let go of kino. i retreated to my bed and sat on the edge while looking at my feet. kino asked me what was wrong. i couldn't answer him. i just kept looking at me and my two left feet.