kinotherapy || k.h.g

nine

nine
/third point of view/
-

rain is a fiend; rain is terrible. rain is lonely, and rain is the epitome of sadness— at least to kino that's what rain meant. kino never had a problem with the rain, but there were exactly three moments in his life where he had a problem with the rain. the first was when the rain caused him to be late to his college entrance exam, the second was when he got the call from the hospital saying sojin killed herself and he ran all the way to the hospital in pouring rain, and the third was when the rain continued to pelt down on his umbrella at her funeral.

the rain wasn't the saddest part of her funeral, though. no one came to her funeral. her mother didn't show up, and if her father even tried, kino would have punched him. ever since sojin was diagnosed with depression, she slowly lost her friends one by one until she had none left; it wasn't like they left her because she was "weird" or different— they left her because they grew apart. it was as simple as that.

kino liked to think of himself as strong, fearless, or brave. he liked to thing nothing could bring him down. he was cheerful, and he brought happiness to others because he was always so optimistic. for the first time, though, kino didn't feel like that when he was standing in front of sojin's tombstone. he felt weak, scared, numb. he wasn't optimistic, but he wasn't pessimistic either. kino was simply sad. he was also angry— he was angry at himself for not being there for her.

there were no flowers on sojin's grave. kino had flowers, chrysanthemums, cradled in his arms. he set them down on the ground lightly and stood up in front of the patch of brown soil in front of him. he bowed his head down, clasped his hands, and bit his lip as a tear rolled down his eye. he had abandoned the irritating umbrella in the grass and let the rain fall down on him. the rain mixed with the tears on his cheeks, and the tears kept slipping out of his eyes.

the rain may have been loud, but kino's sobs were louder. he fell to his knees, buried his face in his palms and cried. he didn't cry like a baby, no. kino cried as if he lost his family, his friends, his love. it wasn't kino's fault, nor was it sojin's fault. it was the fault of the therapy.

kino's feelings were never at fault; kinotherapy was at fault. kino could wish for sojin to return all he wanted and for the rain to just leave him alone, but the sad fact was that sojin was gone and the rain would continue to pour.

kino stood up, dried his eyes from the tears he shed, and he smiled. he gazed at the wet tombstone and clasped his hands once again, his lips parting as he thought about what he wanted to say that day to sojin.

"sojin," he said before clearing his throat. "don't be sorry. let's dance together again one day, okay?"

kino blinked, smiled once more, and then started to walk away. he picked up the umbrella he set down and headed out of the graveyard. he looked back at the tombstone once more and left the gates of the graveyard.

as he walked towards the bus stop, the rain started to go away, and the sun peeked out through the clouds. kino closed his umbrella and stood at the bus stop, his eyes glancing at the blue sky. a light rainbow shone amongst the white clouds in the sky, and a slight breeze swept past him. as the breeze passed, kino could've sworn he heard sojin's voice. he looked behind him, but no one was there. kino could've sworn the breeze talked, but it was probably nothing.

"i would love to, kino."

..

well that's the end of this, and it took a long time so i'm honestly done lmao
s/o to veda to starting this for me and then abandoning the account for me to take over BYE
mel