Saudade

Chapter 5:

Dear Jo,

I apologize for how short the past two letters have been. I can't promise this one will be any better. I'm out of the hospital now. Sally's new boyfriend came to visit me as well as another girl from the store. Jasper had to have a meeting with his soon-to-be ex-wife. I sat in the room surrounded by Sally, Mario, and Felicia. "So why were you in the hospital again?" Mario asked. He was Hispanic and had a thick accent to match. Rather attractive so I assumed all of the straight women would fall for him. Sally sat beside him with bottle blonde hair and dull brown eyes. She can't even begin to match up to you in any way, I've concluded. Felicia was African American with an afro tinged with pink and she was built very similar to me. Both Sally and Felicia were both very pretty, but not my type. Not like you are.

"I overdosed," I answered Mario. He nodded and countered, "I had a problem with substance abuse when I was eighteen. I went to counseling and I've been clean for nine years." I rubbed my eyes and took a sip of my tea. "Clean from what exactly?" He shrugged, "From everything really. No more alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, or pills. I can give you the name of my counselor if you want." I took the card thinking that I wouldn't do anything with it. Should I call, Jo? I really want your advice on this one. "So, Mario, did you ever go to the hospital for your problem?" Felicia asked for me. He shook his head. "I wasn't as bad as you apparently are, Samantha, but I had several close calls. A few of my friends were sent to the hospital once for a heroin overdose. One of them died from it..." He quieted and we changed the subject.

I got Felicia and Mario's numbers and they left after an hour or so. Then Jasper came in with Nancy. That in itself was a shock. I figured that it was Nancy, but I wasn't certain at first. Jasper walked in with his dark hair and glasses looking like nervous mouse like always. Nancy had brown hair and dark eyes and looked fiery for how small she was. Quite shorter than either of us. Her eyes were filled with tears and she came in and enveloped me in a hug. Tears touched my shoulder and I looked to Jasper for aid but he failed to help. "Oh, you darling saint! You were just trying to help my marriage, oh I'm such an awful person!" She eventually finished and looked me in the eye. "You don't look gay." I opened my mouth to say something quite rude when Jasper interrupted.

"Nancy and I are stopping the divorce. We're going to work it out. All because of you. She heard of your overdose and...wanted to come see you. We brought pie." I nodded and told them where to set it and whatnot. Nancy, being the fireball she apparently is, started heavy: "So, who's Josephine?" I blinked a few times and Jasper tried to explain, but eventually couldn't. "I kinda want to know as well, Samantha..." I sighed and began the sob story. I'm going to give you exactly what I said because I think it's important.

"Do you want to know the full story?" They both nodded and I sighed. "Josephine was a girlfriend of mine. We met in college in London. Oh those were the good years. We fell in love and planned our life together. We graduated and lived together for three years, working ourselves to death just to get by. Then Josephine gets the offer of a lifetime to model for a famous agency in New York City. A different continent than the one we currently lived. We initially planned to move there together, but I got a job opportunity to do as much art as I was able for a museum here and I had to continue my residence in the country. So we were separated. She had helped me with my substance abuse in college. So much so that I didn't need it anymore. Then she left. And it's just plummeted since then...I loved her so much." Apparently, the way I sad it was exceptionally sad because all of us were crying. They apologized for my loss and we chatted a bit. They left and I finished the cake. Our sorrow made another couple cry and work towards their relationship. That counts for something. Right?

Your Little Lover,

Sam